The Political Whore

Obama does a little social work, helping care for — and foster a sense of community in — a certain elderly gentleman. Have a good weekend everyone.

• Welcome back Cold War. We apparently missed you.
• Obama camp swings back hard at The Obama Nation author Jerome Corsi.
• Despite being less popular than a smallpox outbreak, President Bush can still rake in the cash.
• Cable companies turn to the McCain campaign to hand them full control of the Internet after the election.
• Peter Pan hauled off in cuffs!
• At Oakland, The Rays pull out a 7-6 win in the 12th.
• Donald Trump (!) comes to Ed McMahon’s rescue.
• Sorry kids, Harry Potter’s next big screen adventure has been bumped to 2009.

Olympic fever and the dull days of August have slowed real news to a trickle. Sports Illustrated has a list of the 25 best sports videos (that contain no actual sports) on YouTube. Here is #1. (Warning: Not for the kids.)

• While the world watched the Olympics, war broke out in Eastern Europe.
• Incidentally, if you missed Friday night’s incredible Opening Ceremonies, they can be seen here.
• Lieberman on McCain’s short list, proving past performance is not a vetting factor.
• Who the hell is Robert McGovern, and what the hell does he have to do with the Edwards mess?
• Be the first to know Obama’s V.P. choice.
• The U.S. poised for an economic recovery?
• R.I.P. Issac Hayes, R.I.P. Bernie Mac, R.I.P. Whaley’s Market.
• The Rays break the team record for wins in a season.

And so we bring the week to a close in style, with a little game of “Bush or Batman?” Have a good weekend everyone.

• Obama wows them on the continent.
• McCain’s going to pick Romney for V.P., isn’t he?
• No end in sight: Foreclosures double from a year ago.
• Ford loses $8.7 billion last quarter.
• Firm charged with manipulating the oil market. But the oil execs said high prices were only caused by supply and demand?
• Qantas may never crash, but they can still come damn close.
• The Internet’s “critical flaw” exposed.
• The Mindfreak prepares for a little building-implosion prestidigitation on Clearwater Beach.

McCain insists he was right when he said The Surge led to the Anbar Awakening, despite the fact that the Awakening happened in 2006 and The Surge happened in 2007.

• Poor John McCain, he just can’t catch a break. (This is possibly the most ridiculous story ever published by the Washington Post.)
• Obama gets double the airtime of McCain, and double the tough questions.
• “If somebody told me that I would save the people on the airplane by taking my pants off out in public out there, I wouldn’t mind doing it, but this was not necessary.”
• The director of the University of Pittsburgh Cancer Center warns his employees to limit their cell phone use to avoid tumors. Ah, what does he know?
• Jewelry stores and investment banking firms prepare for the rush of new customers as the U.S. minimum wage jumps to just $6.55 an hour.
• Headline of the week: “Motor racing chief wins ‘Nazi’ orgy lawsuit.”
• The Bucs on the verge of landing Brett Favre? Just what they need, another really old QB.
• The Bruce B. Downs “flyover” opens, traffic remains somewhat snarled.

Work got you down? The state of world keeping you up at night? Are stress and anxiety eating you alive? Have I got the solution for you:

• Obama touches down in Jordan.
• Wachovia crumbles.
• McCain blames Obama for high gas prices. Up next, the JFK assassination and sinking of The Maine.
• The not-so-sordid tale of the McCain NY Times op-ed. At least one reporter thinks the Times did McCain a favor.
• What should St. Pete do with the Pier? The city would like you input.
• Texas prepares for an impromptu production of Hello Dolly.
• Madonna crumbles. 
• iPods about to get a price cut?

Obama’s weekend tour of Afghanistan (as shown in this AP video) seems to have gone well. And check that standing-o he gets from the troops.

• Iraq’s PM backs Obama’s withdrawal plan. The McCain camp pretends they are still relevant on the issue.
• Complete Bullshit: “Mullen: Timetable in Iraq ‘Dangerous’, Time Horizons Safe.”
• Where in the world is Barack Obama today?
• Ridiculous flying machines? Check. Humorous crash landings? Check. 100,000 spectators cooking in downtown Tampa swelter? Check!
• What Would Jesus Watch? Christian groups try to shut down Marriott’s in-room porn.
• This is why I don’t do triathlons.
• The Dark Knight slays ‘em at the box office.
• Facebook gets an update.

Study hard kids. You’re about to get a lesson in why being a C student is far from acceptable. Have a good weekend, everyone.

• The case for and against Gov. Charlie as McCain’s V.P.
• Meanwhile, the Gov.’s hob-nobbin’ with Prince Charles as Florida languishes in financial crisis.
• Al Gore’s got a 10-year plan that has the conservatives bouncing off the walls.
• “McCain, R-Ariz., the top Republican on the Senate Armed Service Committee, has attended zero of his committee’s six hearings on Afghanistan over the last two years.”
• The LA Times picks apart McCain’s campaign schedule. Brace yourselves folks: He’s basically just out raising money.
• Shoddy work by American contractors in Iraq has lead to hundreds of electrical fires and more than a few deaths.
• Sticks of Fire is already campaigning for a Best of the Bay award. What’s your website doing?
• Hollywood preps the cash registers for a record weekend.

Here’s your first look at the new, unfortunately-titled Bond movie, Quantum of Solace:

• Starbucks to ax 600 stores in the U.S.
• A blogger outs the Supreme Court for basing their no-death-penalty-for-child-rapists decision on an error.
• Obama to defeat McCain — it’s written in the stars.
• Forget music, today’s college kids are file-sharing their textbooks. You want to guess who’s unhappy about that?
• J.P. Morgan Chase broke into and emptied a house that the bank though was in foreclosure. It wasn’t.
• 10 reasons to not be so glum about surging gas prices.
• A lost 1964 Lennon/McCartney interview turns up in a damp London garage.
• Rays win again.

Check out the following clip of McCain speaking about the recently passed G.I. Bill:

Now realize McCain was against this bill, and even proposed an alternate version that did not contain the provisions he’s bragging on in this video.

• Seymore Hersh’s latest New Yorker piece, on Bush’s increased covert action against Iran, is a doozy.
• Obama takes aim at southern voters.
• Tampa looks at minimum zoning requirements.
• Wall Street feasts on finger nails before the open.
• Some cry over Wal-Mart’s spilled milk.
• Will they or won’t they? Hollywood actors prepare to strike.
• Checking in on Oliver Stone’s W.
• The Bucs re-sign Earnest Graham.

Lost finale tonight. Predictions in the comments section.

• The general election begins next Tuesday.
• “Team McCain: Ready for Prime Time?”
• Did the press do anything without Bush’s permission between 2001-2004? Apparently not.
• Still not a recession (until we figure out how the government keeps cooking this number).
• “[Obama] is a rock star. I love what he is saying about education. I think he will win and I am anxious to meet him.” —Rupert Murdoch.
• “Good luck with your layoffs, all right? I hope your firings go really well.”
• A solar-powered iPhone?
• Ready for his/her close-up: E.T.

Happy Memorial Day Weekend everyone!

• McCain is quite healthy — for someone who could die of natural causes at any moment.
• Not so fast gay couples in California …
• Hillary’s next move: handing out pitchforks and torches.
• Hot rumor: Hillary asked to be V.P., and Obama said no.
• Driving this Memorial Day weekend? Better get a loan.
• China and Russia band together in opposition to U.S missile defense.
• Texas: The land of big hats, big trucks, and big time illegal child seizures.
• Tarantino gives a great fuckin’ lecture at Cannes.

At least in the NY Times today. Not only does he get coverage for his invite to McCain’s weekend veep auditions, but he also gets the featured spot (with photo, in print edition) in a story about how budget-strapped state legislatures are trying to find low-cost options for covering the uninsured.

All the slams against Crist’s veep appeal notwithstanding — he’s too moderate, he’s too “single,” his hair is whiter than what’s left of McCain’s — the buzz does seem to be getting a little louder. The Romney/ Jindal/ Crist face-off this weekend might be almost as much fun (or every bit as excruciating) as those ubiquitous Alltel battling-nerds ads.

Sen. Barack Obama’s appearance at the St. Pete Times Forum is over, but the battle for Florida’s 27 electoral votes is just getting underway. In a poll released Monday, Rassmussen has Sen. John McCain out in front of Obama 50%-40% in Florida. This 10-point lead is down from the 15-point advantage McCain enjoyed last month. Digging below the surface of the numbers reveals some other interesting tidbits:

• Obama leads among voters earning less than $40,000 a year — the group he’s struggled with the most in his race with Hillary.
• Obama is up 22 points among voters under 30. McCain leads among all other age groups.
• The God-fearing still love the Republicans, as McCain maintains a lead among churchgoers.
• McCain’s favorability rating is at 50%, Obama’s is at 48%. This represents a 12-point drop for McCain and a 6-point increase for Obama since April.
• Almost 30% of Democrats tell the pollster they will vote for McCain in the fall.

On that last point, Markos at Daily Kos is chalking up Obama’s weakness to the ongoing battle with Clinton and the raw feelings of her supporters. If that’s the case, Obama simply has to win back Florida Dems (something that seems very likely to happen before the election, primary bad blood or no) and the Sunshine State is a dead heat. With McCain behind in fundraising and currently purging unhappy lobbyists from his campaign staff at an alarming rate, a 10-point lead may not be very good news after all.

But don’t get too cocky yet, Obamaheads. Rasmussen still puts the likelihood of a McCain victory in Florida at 75%.

A little dose of straight talk.

• McCain to hit up the RNC for campaign cash.
• The “very, very, very old” candidate also hit SNL for one of the worst guest appearances ever.
• Obama draws 75K in Oregon.
• Clinton finds a new scapegoat: the media.
• This just in from Germany: Too much smiling can kill you!
• Olbermann vs. O’Reilly — the feud escalates.
• Time digs Crystal Skull.
• Is Sir Charles headed for skid row?

Colbert buries O’Reilly.

• Edwards hops down off the fence.
• “The Al Gore watch starts now.”
• McCain outlines his four year plan.
• Republican members of congress brace for a November bloodbath.
• The Rays re-up Scott Kazmir’s deal.
• Save the polar bears.
• Syesha comes home … for good.
• I forget what this story is about, but that’s apparently normal.

Couch potatoes unite!

• The mother of the St. Pete courthouse gunman blames shootout on “antigovernment Web sites.”
• Clinton’s five big boo boos …
• … and her three options.
• Bush mucks with the FCC to help out his old buddy/election law-flouter John McCain.
• Toyota feels the sting of the U.S. economic slowdown.
• The high price of intelligence.
• The Olympic torch makes it to the protester-free summit of Mt. Everest.
• No GTA IV in India. Reason: a global shortage.

See you at Radiohead tonight?

• Please God, let it somehow end tonight.
• Myanmar tries to pick up the pieces.
• McCain denies he didn’t vote for Bush in 2000, which is puzzling since it was the best news about him in a week.
• “She said, ‘You’ve been accused of wizardry,’ Piculas said.”
• The DC Madam’s suicide notes. Notes, plural. Uh-huh.
• Oil: Still cheaper than a house made of gold bars.
• When Yanks vs. Sox turns deadly …
• Come and get it: Free Nine Inch Nails.

Happy fifth anniversary.

• Obama takes a beating, still manages to pick up another Superdelegate.
• Hillary’s never had plastic surgery or heard of Red Bull, but she does have a thing for Honest Abe. Oh, and “testicular fortitude.”
• The experts agree: The McCain/Clinton gas tax holiday is a crap idea.
• The Bush Administration and the telecoms conspired to hide their illegal activities. Can’t we just give these nice Americans immunity already?
• Another Bay area teacher has been arrested after an inappropriate romantic relationship with a student. This time, however, the perp is male. Let’s execute him!
• Troxler gets robbed!
• First take: “Unlike the irreducible element that is its namesake, Iron Man the movie is an alloy, a combination of several different and disconnected components that don’t manage to unite to make a coherent whole.”
• A $199 iPhone? Don’t count your chickens just yet.

Dude, you gotta read your deed restrictions.

• Obama cuts off the ravin’ Rev.
• Mrs. Irrelevant.
• U.S. preps military action against a “hostile” Iran. I’d suggest “Operation: National Suicide” as a title.
• U.S. economy staves off recession with .6% growth. I feel better, don’t you?
• Figuring out the rice shortage. (Hint: The problem isn’t just ethanol.)
• Al Franken finally pays his taxes.
• Paula Abdul’s got issues with her short-term memory.
• Lede of the week: “A teen accused of plotting to blow up his high school told police that he wanted to die, go to heaven and kill Jesus, federal authorities said Tuesday.”

Hillary wins it!

• What does it all mean?
• “The Low Road to Victory.”
• What’s next?
• McCain’s lovin’ it.
• Delta loses billions.
• Bush breaks the record for lowest Gallup approval rating ever.
• The L.A. Times chops up “parodies of themselves” Pacino and DeNiro.
• Lost in real life. (Minus the smoke monster.)

Hell hath no fury …

• Clinton vs. Obama: Round 21 tonight.
• The Senate passes a bill giving billions to auto makers and the airlines under the guise of helping struggling homeowners.
• Chris Matthews for Senate?
• Hillsborough Election Supervisor Buddy Johnson’s got some explaining to do.
• More on those tasty McCain family recipes stolen from the Food Network. When all else fails, blame the interns.
• Oil: Still cheaper than owning your own island.
• Only 17 days until “Shutdown Day.” Have you finished your shopping yet?
• With child: Ashlee Simpson.

Hey, who let the old guys on YouTube?

• Obama rakes in $40 mil in March. Hillary score half that.
• Citing the agency’s ineffectiveness against natural causes, McCain turns down secret service protection.
• 81% of Americans feel nation should pull over, ask for directions.
• Why King’s dream still matters.
• Moqtada al-Sadr plans “million-strong” march in Najaf to protest American occupation of Iraq, disprove old axiom about safety in numbers.
• Bush gets no love from the historians.
• Tampa Bay: Home to sun, sand and porn fantasy camp.
• Scientists and DOT professionals plan an experiment to determine the point at which human beings explode by closing a northbound lane on the Howard Frankland for three days next week during the daytime.

Still alive.

• MSNBC’s kick-ass number cruncher Chuck Todd goes inside the latest poll numbers.
  
• The little lady should be seen and not heard: Clinton’s moneymen sent a letter to Nancy Pelosi telling her to shut her trap about superdelegate voting.
• Joe Klein floats Al Gore as the possible democratic nominee. Time to retire, Joe?
• McCain puts Russia squarely in the enemy category.
• The New York Post has linked Spitzer to a second call girl ring (“And There He Ho’s Again”) and provides details on the couple that ran Emperor V.I.P.
• Shuttle Endeavor zips by with a bang.
• The L.A. Times retracts their “Diddy did it” Tupac murder story. Puff is still guilty of murdering Led Zeppelin’s “Kashmir” for that shitastic Godzilla remake, though.
• Adobe’s Photoshop goes online in an “Express” version, and by “Express” they mean free.

(Photo Credit: Steve Rhodes)

Still alive!

• More Texas/Ohio wrap here, here, here and here.
• McCain officially seals the deal.
• Hillary’s got a math problem. Newsweek’s Jonathan Alter crunched the numbers too, and he reports the race was over weeks ago.
• Now what?
• “The $2 Trillion Nightmare” exposed.
• Want to buy a church? Without Walls goes on the market for $30 million.
• Gary Gygax’s hit points drop to zero.
• Moses liked the drugs.

(Photo Credit: Joe Crimmings Photography)

UPDATE: Here’s a few more I missed the first go-round:

• Garrison Keillor puts his prairie home up for sale. Who knew he lived next door to Lori Anderson?
• Bush finally indicted! (But only in Vermont)
• Invite Travolta to your film-fest party, but don’t you dare take his picture.

“Without telecom immunity, how will the government know what you are telling your grandma over the videophone?”

• Bush tempers his absurd demands for telecom immunity and more war money with a request for increased AIDS funding. One out of three ain’t bad.
• McCain says “Obama doesn’t know Al-Qaeda is in Iraq!” Obama responds: “Of course I do, John, you helped put them there.”
• Is McCain a “natural-born” citizen? It’s not as open and shut as you think.
• Bloomberg bows out before he was even in.
• It’s always an event when Keith Richards talks to the press.
• Apple prepares the iPhone development roadmap.
• Time to upgrade those contact lenses?
• Best Onion headline of 2008 (so far): Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results of 2008 Election Early.

Tonight on MSNBC: Clinton. Obama. The rumble in the rust belt.

• Somali Costume-gate: Clinton pleads ignorance, Obama calls her out, what do the robes signify, and how is this affecting the polls?
• McCain suddenly realizes the Iraq war ain’t that popular and starts backtracking fast.
• Welcome back: Inflation.
• If you’re reading this instead of the printed word, consider yourself part of the solution.
• The New York Philharmonic rocks Pyongyang.
• I’m a little depressed at the new study saying anti-depressants don’t work in people who aren’t severely depressed. What can I take to fix the situation?
• Can you be too hot to fly? Two Oldsmar hotties say yes (with picture).
• Scientists report the end is near! (”Near” = 7.6 billion years.)

(Photo Credit: Mike Licht, notionsCapital.com)

“Can we not talk about this in front of the wife?”

• NY Times reports Senator McCain had an affair with a lobbyist in the late ’90s and maybe did her political favors.
• McCain responds: “At no time have I ever done anything that would betray the public trust or make a decision which in any way would not be in the public interest and would favor any one or any organization.”
• Both McCain and the hottie lobbyist deny the affair and the campaign is pissed.
• The Washington Post’s version of events seems to back up the NY Times account.

In other news:

• Toiletries? Check. Directions to Tampa International? Check. A box-cutter stashed in a hollowed-out book? Check.
• The Teamsters endorse Obama.
• Dems debate tonight in Texas.
• Is Hillary’s campaign going broke?
• Launch that sucker, yeah! The Pentagon blows away a damaged satellite.
• Amy Winehouse knocks back a big Grammy bump.
• A whole lotta shakin’ going on in northern Nevada.
• Coming soon to a theater near you: Monopoly. Yes, the board game.

(Photo credit: Photo-Mojo)

Watch out for falling debris.*

• The Florida connection to the Northern Illinois University shooting? The gunman’s dad lives in Lakeland.
• M&M Twins: Mitt endorses McCain.
• The Supers are starting to shift to Barack, as are the giant labor unions. Plus, he’s got the lead in a new poll out of Texas.
• More prognostications of Hillary’s demise, this time from Peggy Noonan in the WSJ.
• Will Obama’s Chicago ties derail his electoral chances?
• Today’s friend of torture: Joe Lieberman.
• Hot Rumor: Al Pacino’s on board for a cameo as the head baddie in the next Bond flick. Hoo-Ah!
• Alicia Keys = Prince?

*Satellite depicted is not the one being blown out of the sky by the Pentagon. Photo credit: PRNewsFoto/Space Systems/Loral.

“You stay away from me!”

• Civic pride: Tampa is mentioned on the Today show! I’m not from here: The subject was a Hillsborough County Sheriff caught on tape dumping a disabled man out of his wheelchair and onto the floor.
• Obama and McCain pile up the wins.
• A reporter asks Hillary why she hasn’t released her tax returns and she responds: “Sen. Obama has some questions to answer about his dealings with one of his largest contributors Exelon, a big nuclear power company; apparently he cut some deals behind closed doors to protect them from full disclosure of the nuclear industry.” Does this answer mean that a) Hillary believes that if she released her tax returns any questionable dealings Obama has had will pale in comparison; b) It’s nothing but negative attacks from from here on out; c) the reporter took the quote out of context, or d) this is the sound of the Clinton campaign imploding?
• Poetic justice? Secretary of Defense Robert Gates slips, falls, breaks his shoulder and is taken to Walter Reed Army Medical Center.
• Roger Clemens goes before congress, probably lying his injected ass off in the process.
• Spielberg quits his gig as artistic adviser to the 2008 Beijing Olympics after complaints about China by human rights groups.
• From blow-hard to blowback: Rush Limbaugh battles the right.
• The Force is strong with these animators.

“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?!!?”

• Clinton loans herself $5 mil, her staff is working for free and the next few primaries set up well for Obama. Panic time?
• McCain calls for calm, Rush continues to piss on his head anyway.
• If cash was votes, Obama would be running away with this thing.
• As the count goes on in New Mexico, the Brad Blog smells foul play.
• When the nation’s realtors say home prices are going to fall this year you know we’re in trouble.
• Point: How many undersea Internet cables servicing the Middle East have to be cut before we decide someone is actively cutting them? Will five do?
• Counterpoint: Wired claims this whole thing is an overblown conspiracy theory and some of the cables are failing for other reasons. Oh.
• A USF students being held on terrorism charges hires Al-Arian’s lawyer. Past performance is no guarantee of future results.
• Peter O. Knight Airport gets an upgrade.

(Photo by: Swaters)

UPDATE 1:  Romney’s out! [of the race, not gay]

UPDATE 2: The most chilling story I’ve seen in some time.

The count goes on …

• NBC News has Obama taking the lead.
• Raw Story has Hill up by 80 delegates, and McCain running away with it.
• ABC has Huckabee surging as Romney fades.
• AP has the democratic race as a split decision.
• MSNBC’s first thoughts: This is going to get nasty.
• Slate is desperately trying to figure out who won.
• Time Magazine has five lessons from Super Tuesday.
  
• Need a copy of the key to ALL Diebold voting machines? Good news: They posted a picture of it on their website.

In other news:

• Tornadoes killed at least 48 people across the south last night.
• The writers strike will continue — at least through this weekend.
• Heath Ledger’s autopsy is in. Cause of death: oxycodone, hydrocodone, diazepam, temazepam, alprazolam and doxylamine.
• Is Al-Qaeda about to strike?
• Apple updates the iPhone: Let the bitchin’ commence …

(Photo by Idcross.)

Super duper!

• Welcome to Super Tuesday. Get comfy, we’re gonna be here a while.
• The final polls are in. Obama and Romney lead in California; Clinton and McCain pulling away in New Jersey. Believe it or not?
• No deal to end the writers strike — yet.
• New York prepares for a Giant celebration.
• An even better catch than David Tyree’s.
• The iPhone and iPod Touch get a memory upgrade … but it’ll cost you.
• Things that “probably” don’t cause cancer: Mobile phones, coffee, breast implants. Rest easy Pam Anderson.
• DON’T CLICK THIS LINK! (I warned you.)

Our turn.

• McCain and Romney battle to the finish.
• Goodnight Rudy.
• How goes the vote?
• Way to go Dems! Love your electoral strategy of screwing Florida’s voters.
• And how long is this whole primary season going to continue, anyway?
• Facing an uprising by its rank-and-file members, California’s teachers union holds off endorsing Hillary.
• Break out the party hats! Bush gave his final State of the Union address last night. Too bad it was so overshadowed by the race to replace him.
• The best political reporting anywhere: The Onion.

About time.

• Romney Wins!
• Huck waffles!
• Congrats John!
• You’re busted!
• Apple wiffs?
• Babies booming?
• Mazel Tov?
• Renfro dead.

“Wanna buy a computer?”

• Can Mitt Romney finally win one?
• Obama tries to calm the Dem’s burgeoning race war (surely angering Clinton in the process).
• The current national front-runners: McCain and Clinton.
• Florida election officials need some help with their spelling.
• Couric Raw: Katie bitches about a bad mic, compares Cindy McCain to a dog and says “shit” a few times in this video shot during the breaks on the 1/8/08 CBS Evening News.
• What’s hot for Christmas 2008? A rundown of the must-have digital goodies from last week’s Consumer Electronics Show.
• Speaking of Tech: Steve Job’s MacWorld keynote goes down today. Anyone want to buy a sub-notebook computer or rent a flick through iTunes?
• “‘People wonder what in the world it is because this is the Bible Belt, and everyone is afraid it’s the end of times,’ said Steve Allen, a freight company owner and pilot who said the object he saw last week was a mile long and half a mile wide. ‘It was positively, absolutely nothing from these parts.’”