The Political Whore

Hell hath no fury …

• Clinton vs. Obama: Round 21 tonight.
• The Senate passes a bill giving billions to auto makers and the airlines under the guise of helping struggling homeowners.
• Chris Matthews for Senate?
• Hillsborough Election Supervisor Buddy Johnson’s got some explaining to do.
• More on those tasty McCain family recipes stolen from the Food Network. When all else fails, blame the interns.
• Oil: Still cheaper than owning your own island.
• Only 17 days until “Shutdown Day.” Have you finished your shopping yet?
• With child: Ashlee Simpson.

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Hey, who let the old guys on YouTube?

• Obama rakes in $40 mil in March. Hillary score half that.
• Citing the agency’s ineffectiveness against natural causes, McCain turns down secret service protection.
• 81% of Americans feel nation should pull over, ask for directions.
• Why King’s dream still matters.
• Moqtada al-Sadr plans “million-strong” march in Najaf to protest American occupation of Iraq, disprove old axiom about safety in numbers.
• Bush gets no love from the historians.
• Tampa Bay: Home to sun, sand and porn fantasy camp.
• Scientists and DOT professionals plan an experiment to determine the point at which human beings explode by closing a northbound lane on the Howard Frankland for three days next week during the daytime.

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Still alive.

• MSNBC’s kick-ass number cruncher Chuck Todd goes inside the latest poll numbers.
  
• The little lady should be seen and not heard: Clinton’s moneymen sent a letter to Nancy Pelosi telling her to shut her trap about superdelegate voting.
• Joe Klein floats Al Gore as the possible democratic nominee. Time to retire, Joe?
• McCain puts Russia squarely in the enemy category.
• The New York Post has linked Spitzer to a second call girl ring (“And There He Ho’s Again”) and provides details on the couple that ran Emperor V.I.P.
• Shuttle Endeavor zips by with a bang.
• The L.A. Times retracts their “Diddy did it” Tupac murder story. Puff is still guilty of murdering Led Zeppelin’s “Kashmir” for that shitastic Godzilla remake, though.
• Adobe’s Photoshop goes online in an “Express” version, and by “Express” they mean free.

(Photo Credit: Steve Rhodes)

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Still alive!

• More Texas/Ohio wrap here, here, here and here.
• McCain officially seals the deal.
• Hillary’s got a math problem. Newsweek’s Jonathan Alter crunched the numbers too, and he reports the race was over weeks ago.
• Now what?
• “The $2 Trillion Nightmare” exposed.
• Want to buy a church? Without Walls goes on the market for $30 million.
• Gary Gygax’s hit points drop to zero.
• Moses liked the drugs.

(Photo Credit: Joe Crimmings Photography)

UPDATE: Here’s a few more I missed the first go-round:

• Garrison Keillor puts his prairie home up for sale. Who knew he lived next door to Lori Anderson?
• Bush finally indicted! (But only in Vermont)
• Invite Travolta to your film-fest party, but don’t you dare take his picture.

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“Without telecom immunity, how will the government know what you are telling your grandma over the videophone?”

• Bush tempers his absurd demands for telecom immunity and more war money with a request for increased AIDS funding. One out of three ain’t bad.
• McCain says “Obama doesn’t know Al-Qaeda is in Iraq!” Obama responds: “Of course I do, John, you helped put them there.”
• Is McCain a “natural-born” citizen? It’s not as open and shut as you think.
• Bloomberg bows out before he was even in.
• It’s always an event when Keith Richards talks to the press.
• Apple prepares the iPhone development roadmap.
• Time to upgrade those contact lenses?
• Best Onion headline of 2008 (so far): Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results of 2008 Election Early.

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Tonight on MSNBC: Clinton. Obama. The rumble in the rust belt.

• Somali Costume-gate: Clinton pleads ignorance, Obama calls her out, what do the robes signify, and how is this affecting the polls?
• McCain suddenly realizes the Iraq war ain’t that popular and starts backtracking fast.
• Welcome back: Inflation.
• If you’re reading this instead of the printed word, consider yourself part of the solution.
• The New York Philharmonic rocks Pyongyang.
• I’m a little depressed at the new study saying anti-depressants don’t work in people who aren’t severely depressed. What can I take to fix the situation?
• Can you be too hot to fly? Two Oldsmar hotties say yes (with picture).
• Scientists report the end is near! (”Near” = 7.6 billion years.)

(Photo Credit: Mike Licht, notionsCapital.com)

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“Can we not talk about this in front of the wife?”

• NY Times reports Senator McCain had an affair with a lobbyist in the late ’90s and maybe did her political favors.
• McCain responds: “At no time have I ever done anything that would betray the public trust or make a decision which in any way would not be in the public interest and would favor any one or any organization.”
• Both McCain and the hottie lobbyist deny the affair and the campaign is pissed.
• The Washington Post’s version of events seems to back up the NY Times account.

In other news:

• Toiletries? Check. Directions to Tampa International? Check. A box-cutter stashed in a hollowed-out book? Check.
• The Teamsters endorse Obama.
• Dems debate tonight in Texas.
• Is Hillary’s campaign going broke?
• Launch that sucker, yeah! The Pentagon blows away a damaged satellite.
• Amy Winehouse knocks back a big Grammy bump.
• A whole lotta shakin’ going on in northern Nevada.
• Coming soon to a theater near you: Monopoly. Yes, the board game.

(Photo credit: Photo-Mojo)

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Watch out for falling debris.*

• The Florida connection to the Northern Illinois University shooting? The gunman’s dad lives in Lakeland.
• M&M Twins: Mitt endorses McCain.
• The Supers are starting to shift to Barack, as are the giant labor unions. Plus, he’s got the lead in a new poll out of Texas.
• More prognostications of Hillary’s demise, this time from Peggy Noonan in the WSJ.
• Will Obama’s Chicago ties derail his electoral chances?
• Today’s friend of torture: Joe Lieberman.
• Hot Rumor: Al Pacino’s on board for a cameo as the head baddie in the next Bond flick. Hoo-Ah!
• Alicia Keys = Prince?

*Satellite depicted is not the one being blown out of the sky by the Pentagon. Photo credit: PRNewsFoto/Space Systems/Loral.

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