Because we just can’t get enough of her, the farewell speech of (now former) Alaska Gov. and Head GOP Whacko Sarah Palin is on full display on the interwebs, first off with this link to stunning interpretation of the Republican grande dame’s verbiage, as performed on The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien by “master thespian” William Shatner.

Full video after the jump:

Then, Vanity Fair editors give Palin a hand by red-penciling her speech script in a desperate attempt to have it make sense:

Take a look.

If you have not yet found the time to catch all of Sarah Palin’s now-legendary press conference, the helpful folks at HuffPo have provided an abridged version which captures all of her rhetorical flourishes (and dead-fish references) in just a minute and a half.

By Dan Sullivan
PoHo Contributor

I confess: I’ve been having an affair with Sarah Palin. That’s why she’s stepping down as governor of Alaska.

Don’t get me wrong, this is not the kind of affair that ends a political career. Unlike certain other political affairs of late (Read: Mark Sanford, John Ensign) this affair is not one of the scandalous variety. Quite the contrary. My affair with Alaska’s sweetheart could be just the thing that propels her into the White House in 2012.

See, it isn’t just me who’s having an affair with Sexy Sarah. She’s the darling of many conservative Americans. She stole our hearts from the moment she first stepped onto the national stage back in August as John McCain’s running mate. And now, she’s dissolving her marriage to Alaska to become better acquainted with us — her secret lover — the rest of America.

For me, the affair has lasted long after I met her backstage at a campaign rally shortly before the ‘08 election (see photo above). Of course, I’m not naïve enough to fail to recognize that much of Sarah Palin’s popularity has to do with the fact that she’s an 11 on the hotness scale. If she were an old, fat, white guy, I doubt anyone would care.

Naturally though, as an unabashed Palin fan, my initial reaction to her announcement that she was resigning as governor was one of enthusiasm.

“That’s our maverick! Always doing what’s unexpected and throwing conventional wisdom to the wind.”

After the initial effects of Sarahmania wore off on me, I recognized the possibility of this being perhaps a bonehead move. But you never know. Sarahmania is not unlike Beatlemania. And I think most people would agree that The Fab Four produced their most groundbreaking work after they decided to stop doing live concerts.

Of course, I’d be remiss if I did not acknowledge that there are many of my fellow Republicans who do, in fact, dislike Sarah Palin. Some of these are the staunch libertarian types who don’t care for her perceived religion-based social conservatism. Others are still highly skeptical of her viability as a presidential candidate due to memories of her embarrassing performance in interviews with Charlie Gibson and Katie Couric. Valid points, certainly. But not enough to frighten me away from this hottie.

In Republican circles, only one other person receives as much, if not more praise than Sarah Palin in regard to a potential 2012 candidacy. And that is Mitt Romney.

Where other potential candidates like Mike Huckabee and Bobby Jindal seem to only appeal to distinct portions of the Republican party, Romney seems to be consistently viewed favorably by a broad range of Republicans, from social conservatives to fiscal conservatives to national security conservatives.

No other potential candidates can boast Romney’s expert knowledge of the economy. This is a major advantage considering the economy is likely to still be the main issue in the run up to 2012, pending a terrorist attack thrusting national security back to the forefront or some other unforeseen event.

Still, even Romney has his share of flaws. My biggest beef with him has always been the fact that he comes from money. He can’t tell any heartwarming stories about having to struggle to work his way up and succeed in life. It seems to me that regular working people would have a hard time relating to a candidate born into a life of wealth and privilege. There’s also the Mormon factor, which is a big deal for some. Though, as I’m a Utah native — albeit a non-Mormon — Romney’s religion doesn’t bother me.

And of course, there’s the flip-flop on the abortion issue. But hey, do you really believe that Mitt Romney was once truly a pro-choice guy? Any pro-lifer would have to claim a pro-choice stance to have a prayer of getting elected in the People’s Republic of Massachusetts, especially to the U.S. Senate as Romney tried to do in 1994. It was a move he had to take in a race against Ted Kennedy. A shrewd move, if you ask me. Perhaps as shrewd as Sarah Palin’s leaving the governor’s office.

Well … maybe. We shall see. I admit, her gamble is troubling. My love of Sarah aside, I think the most logical thing for someone like her to do is to forget about 2012. Consider that she won’t even be considered too old to run for president for another 20 or 30 years. That’s more than enough time for her to build herself up in a national role. Perhaps she could campaign for and win one of Alaska’s U.S. Senate seats. That way she can learn the national ropes and wean herself off the all-Alaska all-the-time mentality.

Don’t count on that happening, though. Sarah has but one office at one time in her sights. And that is the presidency in 2012. The route she takes in courting us, America’s voters — particularly America’s conservative voters — will be interesting to see. As a Republican, while I’m certainly not dead-set on a Palin candidacy, she does maintain a special place in my heart.

Last Saturday in Brandon’s Clayton Park, approximately 200 citizens gathered for a TEA Party (Taxed Enough Already) organized by conservative activist Terry Kemple, and featuring a rally-the-troops speech by State Senator Ronda Storms (right).

It was one of what was supposed to be over 1,000 such expressions of outrage at government spending under the Obama administration around the country on Independence Day, and followed a similar outburst of conservative sentiment at the first “Teabag” parties held on Tax Day, April 15th.

That day was also dedicated to federal largesse, though you may recall it more as a media battle between the seeming outright advocacy of the Fox News network, and the derision of it by more liberal commentators, including way too many allusions to what the phrase ‘teabagging’ meant. (This Keith Olbermann bit was just part of that onslaught.)

The growing federal deficit was on the minds of most of the citizenry. Despite the fact that a large part of the current deficit can be laid at the feet of former President George W. Bush (as my previous column, referring NY Times columnist David Leonhardt, can attest to), those in attendance on Saturday were of no mind to hear such specific facts.

Susan O’Connor from Valrico said indignantly, “Now you have to remember the debt that Obama has given us is what? Quadruple what any other president has ever put us in. You can’t even compare that debt. What he’s done in 6 months is how many trillions more than all other Presidents combined.”

Mary Tyer from Brandon identified herself as a “proud American” who said the country couldn’t afford the change Barack Obama is advocating. She grew increasingly more irritated by my questions. “He’s stealing our money every day!” When I politely mentioned that though there would be tax increases in a health care reform package, the only taxes that have gone up so far under his administration have been for people who purchase cigarettes, this senior citizen didn’t want to hear about it.

““Oh yes, this country was in good shape when he came into office. Look at it now! Do you like it?” Her voice grew more agitated, and at this point I think she just didn’t like me anymore.

“You know something, young man, you’re going to have to have to pay it, too!”

“But ma’am…he really hasn’t raised taxes yet,” I interjected. “The deficit grew tremendously under George Bush-”“

“PLEASE DO NOT BRING GEORGE BUSH INTO THIS! OUR COUNTRY WAS SAFE WHEN THAT MAN WAS IN OFFICE. WHERE ARE WE NOW? DO YOU KNOW?” And with that she skulked away.

I then walked around looking at the various signs in the crowd. One depicted House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and President Obama as “The Axis of Evil.”

Another sign, held by Bob Hunter from Sun City Center, included photos of Pelosi, Reid and California Representative Henry Waxman, co-author of the Waxman-Markey cap-and-trade legislation that barely passed the House late last month. His sign was captioned “The Three Stooges.”

Hunter is a recent transplant from Pennsylvania. His face grew red after I mentioned the words “Arlen” and “Specter” to him. Commenting on the Senator’s conversion to the Democrats, he wondered how he could have been re-elected so many times. Then the answer came to him.

“If it wouldn’t be for Philadelphia and Pittsburgh. Those were the two areas with the greatest population in Pennsylvania, and all the people on welfare, that’s where they live, and they’re not going to kick out the Golden Goose.”

Elected officials and those aspiring to higher office spoke in the park.
Two Congressional candidates vying for the Republican nomination in District 12 (the seat being vacated by Adam Putnam) — Thomas Snider and Polk County Commissioner Randy Wilkinson — gave short speeches. As did District 56 House Representative Rachel Burgin.

But the star of the afternoon was Hillsborough area State Senator Ronda Storms, who touched on a variety of issues in her 10-minute address.

Looking patriotic in her stars-and-stripes blouse, Storms stayed on the main theme of the afternoon: too much dependence on the federal government. And she blasted some of what she called the excesses of Hillsborough County’s indigent health care system, effusively praised recently in the wake of the passing of Phyllis Busansky, who helped craft the program back in 1991.

Storms said that the program paid for a citizen to be flown to New Orleans for, “I kid you not, the medical replacement for Viagra. That’s the kind of program we want to avoid.”

Somewhat stunned by this comment, I asked Storms about that allegation in a follow-up individual interview. She said that she’s been amazed that the local media have not done a comparison between the indigent program and what’s happening in Washington. “We learned that given unlimited amounts of money, it reduces the motivation for efficiency.”

Storms says she does believe the health care system needs to change, and is not a fan of managed care.

Also in her speech, the State Senator remarked that in addition to the federal government taking over banks and car companies, they were also taking over the media. To buttress her point, she cited as her main source for this allegation veteran White House reporter Helen Thomas, generally the butt of tasteless jokes by the Republican right.

In fact last week, Thomas called out Press Secretary Robert Gibbs for controlling the press in a way she said was worse than Richard Nixon.

Storms added, “You know what? You and I know, it’s the truth.”

In our interview, Storms also predicted that Hillsborough County voters will reject the one-cent sales tax for transit that is expected to be on the 2010 ballot.

“It’s going to go down in flames. It’s not going to pass, because people are sick of it. There is an anti-rail system sentiment, and an anti-tax sentiment. It’s being generated by a narrow group of people …and most of those people have something to gain from it. There are a few true believers, but the people don’t want it.”

There has been much blather in the media this year about who speaks for the Republican Party. With over three years before the next presidential election, that may not be the right question to ask (especially in a week that saw the fortunes of Mark Sanford and Sarah Palin diminish). But Democrats emerged from the desolation of John Kerry’s loss in 2004 by having grass-roots groups like MoveOn.Org coalesce around opposition to George Bush. Excessive federal spending on behalf of the Obama administration seems to be the one thing conservative activists are excited about, in what could be the most important year for changing domestic policy in a generation.

Major has-been Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin gets another round with a national audience tonight, appearing on Sean Hannity’s unquestioning show to say “I told you so” about Barack Obama. She’s flogging the right-wing bullshit about how we are creeping toward socialism. (See the Political Whore post debunking that.)

From the interview, leaked (conveniently) to Drudge Report:

HANNITY: What do you make of – look at the state of the economy now…

PALIN: Well, when you consider that the federal government is about eleven trillion dollars in debt, and we’re borrowing more to spend more.. it defies any sensible economic policy that any of us ever learned through college. It defies economy practices and principles that tell ya ‘you gotta quit digging that hole when you are in that financial hole’

Palin continues:

“America is digging a deeper hole and how are we paying for this government largesse. We’re borrowing. We’re borrowing from China and we consider that now we own sixty percent of GENERAL MOTORS – or the U.S. government does… But who is the U.S. government becoming more indebted to? It’s China. So that leads you to have to ask who is really going to own our car industry than in America.”

HANNITY: You know but it goes back – It does go back a little to the campaign. I mean, ‘spread the wealth, patriotic duty…’

PALIN: Kind of a ‘we told ya so’.

HANNITY: Well, is that how you feel?

PALIN: That’s how I feel! I feel like… and I think that more and more constituents are going to open their eyes now and open their ears to hear what is really going on and realize ok… Maybe we didn’t have a good way of expressing that, or articulating that message of ‘here is what America could potentially become if we grow government to such a degree that we cannot pay for it and we have to borrow money from other countries, some countries that don’t necessarily like America.

The AP reports that as many as six Republican governors may turn their noses up at stimulus money for their states. That includes, of course, Sarah Palin 2012.

According to the AP report:

A half-dozen Republican governors are considering turning down some money from the federal stimulus package, a move opponents say puts conservative ideology ahead of the needs of constituents struggling with foreclosures and unemployment.

Though none has outright rejected the money available for education, healthcare, and infrastructure, the governors of Alaska, Idaho, Louisiana, Mississippi, South Carolina, and Texas have all questioned whether the $787 billion bill signed into law this week will help the economy.

“My concern is there’s going to be commitments attached to it that are a mile long,” said Governor Rick Perry of Texas. “We need the freedom to pick and choose. And we need the freedom to say ‘No thanks.’ ”

The RINOs who want the money? “Charlie Crist of Florida, Sonny Perdue of Georgia, and Bob Riley of Alabama favor the stimulus package.”