Ten more depressing Christmas songs

December 16th, 2008 by Wade Tatangelo in Top-10

Here’s a continuation of my “Top 10: Depressing Christmas Songs.” Because, truth be told, I still ain’t feeling too damn cheery this time of year. But, y’know, happy holidays!

1. “Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis,” Tom Waits
Killer line: “I’ll be eligible for parole come Valentine’s Day.”

2. “Blue Christmas,” Elvis Presley
Killer line: “Youll be doin all right, with your Christmas of white, but I’ll have a blue, blue blue blue Christmas.”

3. “Christmas in Washington,” Steve Earle
Killer line: “If you run into Jesus, maybe he can help you out.”

4. “A Long December,” Counting Crows
Killer line: “I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower.”

5. “Same Old Lang Syne,” Dan Fogelberg
Killer line: “She gave a kiss to me as I got out, and I watched her drive away.”

6. “Please, Daddy (Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas),” John Denver
Killer line: “Then you laughed and hollered, ‘Merry Christmas;’ I turned around and saw my Mumma’s tears.”

7. “December Baby,” Ingrid Michaelson
Killer line: “I wore the dress I thought you loved, but my boots are filling with snow you shoved.”

8. “December Skies,” Cowboy Junkies
Killer line: “Time to kill our children, and sing about it.”

9. “Santa’s Beard,” They Might Be Giants
Killer line: “I don’t like that fat guy around.”

10. “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home),” U2
Killer line: “They’re singin’ ‘Deck the Halls,’ but it’s not like Christmas at all.”

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