A few essential tips for concertgoing
April 16th, 2009 by Eric Snider in CommentaryIf you’re reading this, a music blog, you probably go to quite a few concerts, and you’ve probably developed some strategies that work for you. Nevertheless, for those less experienced, and for those who might need a refresher course, let me pass along some knowledge that I’ve acquired over the decades. You can think of them as rules, or think of them as suggestions.
Certainly there are more than just these that that popped into my head. Please post yours in Comments. Maybe we can come up with a handbook and split millions of dollars in royalties.
Some of these tips are obvious, some not so much. We’ll start with what I consider to be the Concertgoers Platinum Rule:
+ Don’t get wasted and effectively miss the show. Nothing more needs be said, really, but I’m surprised at how often I see this, and not just from kids. I was at a Tom Petty concert in the old Bayfront Center arena in the early 1980s and I saw a young woman passed out with her head inside the front of a speaker. Miss the concert, brutal hangover. And deaf. She shoulda stayed home.
+ This is one of my biggies: Don’t go to a show desperate to hear one song, especially if that song is a a deep album track that was in the background when you first got laid or something. You’ll end up obsessing about the tune, waiting for it, pining for it, and there’s a really, really good chance you won’t hear it. And you’ll miss the show. You’ll blame it on the act. It’s not their fault, it’s yours.
Case in point: Last night at Hall & Oates, a guy behind me really wanted to hear “Had I Known You Better Then,” precisely the kind of deep album track I talked about above. He kept yelling it out (with an audible slur, I might add). It quickly became a song I really wanted to hear just so it would get this idiot to shut the fuck up. Hall & Oates never played the tune.
+ Which leads me to: Don’t yell out requests — unless you know the act is in that .001 % that takes requests. You see, most acts have these things called set lists. And don’t be fooled when you yell out a request and the singer looks in your direction and says something like, “OK, we’ll do that one.” He or she is not granting your request; he or she was going to play the song anyway, and took the opportunity to look like a someone who takes requests. Beyond all that: When you yell out requests, it’s seriously fucking annoying.
+ This one’s pretty new for me: Don’t record audio or video unless it’s a serious avocation. Watching the levels on your machine, holding the videocam steady, looking over your shoulder for security and other preoccupations all add up to you missing the show. Your trading a concert experience for something you can put in the archives. It happened to me briefly last night at Hall & Oates. I video’ed “Sara Smile” with a Flip from about the 12th row on the far aisle. I realized I had essentially missed the song and slipped the Flip back into my pocket. Found out later that the video was crap, unfit to post, unfit to archive.
+ At a big arena show, it’s important to determine just how badly you need to see every last song. Use a simple cost/benefit analysis: Is hearing the final encore worth sitting in traffic for an hour? The last time I saw Pearl Jam at the Forum, me and a buddy sprinted to the car before the house lights came up. We breezed out of the parking lot and were on the main drag in two minutes. We found out later we had missed “Black.” We lived.
+ Give due consideration to whom you go to any given concert with. Never ask a first date to a concert unless the first date really likes the act. Way back when, I asked a woman at a bar if she wanted to go to see Little Feat the next night at the Bayfront Theater. I picked her up in Dunedin and on the ride down she got quickly drunk. About three songs into the show she disappeared for a half an hour, and upon her return announced that we had to leave, that she had gotten sick. I furrowed a brow. Was she kidding? This was the first chance I’d gotten to see Lowell George and company. I wasn’t leaving ’cause a first date got drunk-sick! It cost me cab fare.
On the domestic front: Spouses, know when to go separately. Let her go to see Cher with the gals. You should take a buddy to see Jeff Beck. (These are just examples, of course; plenty of guys like Cher … I think.) One thing that can seriously hamper your appreciation of a show is if you’re worried about whether or not your companion is enjoying it . This has happened numerous times with my wife, but not much lately ’cause we have learned. You’re not really experiencing the show when you’re glancing sideways and waiting for the bomb to drop. It goes something like this: “Um, how much longer do you want to stay?”
April 16th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
True, all, Eric.
And the biggest tip of all, IMO – SHUT YOUR BIG MOUTH and let the rest of us hear the music.
Occasional comments and talking are to be expected and are perfectly fine and all. Part of the fun of going to concerts is bonding with friends and loved ones, I know.
But when you treat the show like a cocktail hour, and talk nonstop, you literally ruin the concert for all those in direct earshot.
I know this, because of (bad) experiences – On more than one occasion, I’ve been victimized by people who just would not stop yapping.
I always think, “Why did you bother paying for concert tickets and coming to the show in the first place if you merely wanted to have a long talk with a friend? Why didn’t you just go to a bar, or stay at home?”
And, secondly, “What gives you the right to spoil the concert experience for everyone around you? Are you really that selfish?”
Most recently, this happened at Van Wezel in Sarasota, for the Neville Brothers/Dr. John show earlier this year.
A guy and a girl – probably in their ’30s and maybe on a first date – kept up a nonstop conversation, even during the quiet moments. They were seated directly behind my wife and I.
After dirty looks (from me and others) failed to hush them, I finally turned around and said, quietly and politely, “Hey, would you guys mind not talking so loudly?”
They were quiet for about three minutes, and then they started up again. And they never shut up.
Particularly at theater-type halls (Van Wezel, Ruth Eckerd, Mahaffey, Tampa Theatre), it would be great if management were more pro-active in shushing these nuisance talkers.
Rant over … for now.
April 16th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
AWESOME POST!
April 16th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Cab fare! Damn, I should’ve thought of that! I made a girl wait out front of the club for me until a Ween show at The Rubb was over. But she was still there when it let out, so I guess she found something to do.
April 16th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
As an employee of one of those “theatre-type” halls – tell an usher or the house manager!
I think a lot of the crap at the Conchords show would have been avoided id people would’ve complained about the noisy/disruptive people.
They won’t normally tell people to STFU who don’t appear to be bothering anyone, but if anyone complains, they’d be happy to ask the person to be quiet, or call on security if they are too unruly.
My biggest pet peeve not already mentioned – If I am in a pit or squished down at the foot of a stage, great, I have given up my right to personal space.
If however I am in a seat at the Forum (or anywhere) and no matter if I am sitting or standing in the area of my seat, there is an invisible barrier that goes between out seats. Do not rub on me (from either side or above), spill your beer on me (again, from either side or above), step on my foot 1,000 times without ever acknowledging (much less apologizing). Stay the fuck on your side – in the fucking seat you paid for.
I will give you 3 strikes, and then I will start shoving, spilling and stomping back. I’ve been out of the house more recently than you, obviously, and so haven’t gotten as inebriated as you and whatever you want to start I will be happy to finish.
I don’t get on an airplane and sit in your lap, FFS, so stay the hell out of mine.
April 16th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
re: “but if anyone complains, they’d be happy to ask the person to be quiet, or call on security if they are too unruly.”
Ideally, that would be true. And maybe it IS the official policy of all the halls that I mentioned.
But I’ve found that responsiveness to complaints about excessive talking and other noise greatly depends on the hall, and on the personnel who happen to be on duty at the time.
April 16th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
This isn’t a tip as much it is a suggestion:
If you are going to bring something to smoke, and you see people without, please share.
A friend with w%$d is a friend indeed.
Oh and don’t yell out “Play Freebird!”. Even if it is at a Skynyrd show.
April 17th, 2009 at 3:38 am
wow eric… i have been guilty of most of those in varying degrees. you will get the long version since its after 3am and i can’t sleep.
1) never ended up like the petty girl, but i have ‘danced’ with my eyes closed at times… and then there was that time after the 7-11-00 phish show that i thought i was going to hurl, but that second set was pretty sick.
2) i always call a couple of songs that i would like to hear – although i never would say i am bummed if they don’t pop up… which leads me to…
3) i have been known to yell out a request or two… sometimes with my outside voice… and sometimes even freebird. never more than once or twice – as i have been next to “that guy” who thinks if he yells loud enough before every song the band will hear and honor his request.
4) guilty of this one. i record a lot of the shows that i attend. i do fuss with the stuff during the show, but even with some stealth jobs, i still have a very enjoyable time most of the time. recording does limit some of what i can do on a given night (if stealthing i can’t really talk, or dance like crazy). also, i generally can’t wander too far from my gear or be more alert to fend off drunks. ultimately, having a recording after the show is quite a treat in my mind and if i ‘missed’ anything while futzing around, i have the ability to relive the hazy moments.
5) generally i am the guy getting hustled out by the ushers. this is primarily due to the packing up of my recording gear. although, even before i did that, i was never in a rush to leave – there are beers in the car to kill the wait if there is one.
6) not much in the way of problems with that these days, although i did take a GF or two to shows in the past who required a time out. now, my girl knows that staying at home can sometimes be a much better option. its nice that she only goes when she is into whats going on – makes us both happy.
**
pet peeves – people who talk through an entire show, chain smokers, people who do not respect your personal space, people who cry like little bitches because i want to stand up a show, and folks who want to bum anything of mine (lighter, water, smoke, flask, etc) – bring your own.
April 17th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
Great original post along with the “shut up” and “no dancing” comments. I’ll add this suggestion related to yoru date: Don’t take the hottest chick you’ve ever seen, no matter how much she likes the music. While you’re staring and drooling at her all night, you’ll miss a great show