1) never ended up like the petty girl, but i have ‘danced’ with my eyes closed at times… and then there was that time after the 7-11-00 phish show that i thought i was going to hurl, but that second set was pretty sick.

2) i always call a couple of songs that i would like to hear – although i never would say i am bummed if they don’t pop up… which leads me to…

3) i have been known to yell out a request or two… sometimes with my outside voice… and sometimes even freebird. never more than once or twice – as i have been next to “that guy” who thinks if he yells loud enough before every song the band will hear and honor his request.

4) guilty of this one. i record a lot of the shows that i attend. i do fuss with the stuff during the show, but even with some stealth jobs, i still have a very enjoyable time most of the time. recording does limit some of what i can do on a given night (if stealthing i can’t really talk, or dance like crazy). also, i generally can’t wander too far from my gear or be more alert to fend off drunks. ultimately, having a recording after the show is quite a treat in my mind and if i ‘missed’ anything while futzing around, i have the ability to relive the hazy moments.

5) generally i am the guy getting hustled out by the ushers. this is primarily due to the packing up of my recording gear. although, even before i did that, i was never in a rush to leave – there are beers in the car to kill the wait if there is one.

6) not much in the way of problems with that these days, although i did take a GF or two to shows in the past who required a time out. now, my girl knows that staying at home can sometimes be a much better option. its nice that she only goes when she is into whats going on – makes us both happy.

**

pet peeves – people who talk through an entire show, chain smokers, people who do not respect your personal space, people who cry like little bitches because i want to stand up a show, and folks who want to bum anything of mine (lighter, water, smoke, flask, etc) – bring your own.

A friend with w%$d is a friend indeed.

Oh and don’t yell out “Play Freebird!”. Even if it is at a Skynyrd show.

Ideally, that would be true. And maybe it IS the official policy of all the halls that I mentioned.

But I’ve found that responsiveness to complaints about excessive talking and other noise greatly depends on the hall, and on the personnel who happen to be on duty at the time.

I think a lot of the crap at the Conchords show would have been avoided id people would’ve complained about the noisy/disruptive people.

They won’t normally tell people to STFU who don’t appear to be bothering anyone, but if anyone complains, they’d be happy to ask the person to be quiet, or call on security if they are too unruly.

My biggest pet peeve not already mentioned – If I am in a pit or squished down at the foot of a stage, great, I have given up my right to personal space.

If however I am in a seat at the Forum (or anywhere) and no matter if I am sitting or standing in the area of my seat, there is an invisible barrier that goes between out seats. Do not rub on me (from either side or above), spill your beer on me (again, from either side or above), step on my foot 1,000 times without ever acknowledging (much less apologizing). Stay the fuck on your side – in the fucking seat you paid for.

I will give you 3 strikes, and then I will start shoving, spilling and stomping back. I’ve been out of the house more recently than you, obviously, and so haven’t gotten as inebriated as you and whatever you want to start I will be happy to finish.

I don’t get on an airplane and sit in your lap, FFS, so stay the hell out of mine.

And the biggest tip of all, IMO – SHUT YOUR BIG MOUTH and let the rest of us hear the music.

Occasional comments and talking are to be expected and are perfectly fine and all. Part of the fun of going to concerts is bonding with friends and loved ones, I know.

But when you treat the show like a cocktail hour, and talk nonstop, you literally ruin the concert for all those in direct earshot.

I know this, because of (bad) experiences – On more than one occasion, I’ve been victimized by people who just would not stop yapping.

I always think, “Why did you bother paying for concert tickets and coming to the show in the first place if you merely wanted to have a long talk with a friend? Why didn’t you just go to a bar, or stay at home?”

And, secondly, “What gives you the right to spoil the concert experience for everyone around you? Are you really that selfish?”

Most recently, this happened at Van Wezel in Sarasota, for the Neville Brothers/Dr. John show earlier this year.

A guy and a girl – probably in their ’30s and maybe on a first date – kept up a nonstop conversation, even during the quiet moments. They were seated directly behind my wife and I.

After dirty looks (from me and others) failed to hush them, I finally turned around and said, quietly and politely, “Hey, would you guys mind not talking so loudly?”

They were quiet for about three minutes, and then they started up again. And they never shut up.

Particularly at theater-type halls (Van Wezel, Ruth Eckerd, Mahaffey, Tampa Theatre), it would be great if management were more pro-active in shushing these nuisance talkers.

Rant over … for now.