Coming out soundtrack
May 10th, 2009 by Lorna Bracewell in Commentary, Lorna Bracewell, News
A dear friend of mine is in the midst of the arduous, exhilerating, terrifying and liberating process of coming out. She recently wrote to me about the central role certain music has played in helping her to interpret and cope with her whirlwind emotions. I’ve combined her suggestions with a few of my own favorites to create a soundtrack that is guaranteed to make anyone’s coming out possible, bearable and even totally awesome.
Prince, Cream: I’ve chosen this raunchy classic primarily for the obvious reason, but also for its subtext of affirmation and empowerment: “Do your dance / Why should you wait any longer? / Take your chance / It can only make you stronger.” So true.
Bruce Springsteen, Rosalita (Come Out Tonight): I don’t think Bruce knew he was writing the following lines for me and gay people everywhere, but we should still thank him for them: “Closets are for hangers. Winners use the door / So use it, Rosie, that’s what its there for!” Although set in a fairly cliche heterosexual context, this song is all about sexual defiance, transgression and freedom. It resonates with queer audiences in a profound way.
Ani DiFranco, Shameless: This spunky jam about a clandestine same-sex love affair was critical in my own coming out journey. Ani communicates the experience of being closeted in characteristically clunky couplets like “We’re in a room without a door and I am sure without a doubt / They’re gonna wanna know how we got in here and they’re gonna wanna know how we plan to get out.” Check out a rousing performance (complete with a full-throttle audience sing-along) after the jump.
Madonna, Secret: Lines like “Until I learned to love myself / I was never, ever lovin’ anybody else” make this song a shoe in for any coming out soundtrack. Unlike the Springsteen song mentioned earlier, Madonna seems to have been consciouss of the relevance Secret would have for GLBT listeners. The video features an assortment of drag kings, queens, same-sex couples and even Madonna herself engaged in some intense girl-on-girl hand caressing.
Sarah Bettens, Come Over Here: This sensual, low-end driven sexin’ jam from the solo corpus of the K’s Choice lead vocalist speaks candidly about the costs (”Someone out there will hate you now”) and benefits (”Paradise for those who fall”) of coming out. It’s an extremely compelling and rare combination of pithy and hot.
Melissa Etheridge, Nowhere to Go: This song is a great one to throw on if you’re starting to chicken out… or chicken in, rather. The verses speak to the emotional agony of the closet. The song’s speaker and her lover must drive to the outskirts of town ”past the Wal-Mart and Prison” on “a road that goes to nowhere” to share simple moments of intimacy. The song climaxes with Melissa mournfully bellowing “I’m so close to heaven this hell is not mine.” If that’s not enough to kick your butt out of the closet, nothing will.
May 10th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
How about “i’m coming out” by diana ross??
May 10th, 2009 at 10:09 pm
Awesome, Lorna! To these, I would add:
Catie Curtis, “Radical”
Bonnie Raitt, “Somethin’ to Talk About”
Dar Williams, “Iowa” + “The Christians & the Pagans”
Halcyon, hmmmm…many would do.
May 11th, 2009 at 11:21 am
My favorite:
“Jesus loves His little children, all the children of the world. Red, brown, yellow, black and white; they are precious in His sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world.”
He truly does love EVERYBODY!
May 11th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
what? no abba? no dancing queen?
tell your friend to have faith & crank up the following off-the-top-of-my-head tunes! just for the girls…
i will survive
i’m coming out– gotta love diana
i am what i am
cher’s believe
anything by the pointer sisters, pet shop boys, brinski beat & frankie goes to hollywood– all equally unisexual
love to love you! damn donna!
you spin me around
girls just wanna have fun– cindi’s gay? who knew?
ring my bell
that’s the way i like it by kc & the sunshine band, & kool & the gang’s celebration– as fun as all these songs are, i think i’m dating myself?
chaka chan’s i’m every woman
and, of course, judy’s anthem… over the rainbow
hope this short list helps
May 11th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
You all are coming through in a big way. Thank you! I think I was trying so hard to be profound that I really missed the boat on this one. How dare I overlook Diana Ross! Shame on me. Also, “Closer to Fine” by the Indigo Girls. Duh!
May 11th, 2009 at 6:50 pm
Lorna, I love your list. And there’s so many more good ones it’s hard to choose. “Do What You Do” by Pink comes to mind. And once you have a great soundtrack, you need an animated superhero, and for that I’m loving http://www.lizzythelezzy.com – and she sings, too!
May 11th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
Being a boring straight dude, I can’t totally understand what’d make a good list, but a few songs that I think would work:
“Eddie Vedder” by Local H
“If I were Eddie Vedder…would you like me any better? That’s it, I quit, I don’t give a s#$t.” — Sure, this sounds bizarre, but I always took this as a sad song about someone trying to be something they weren’t, realizing it was stupid, and giving up .. kind of depressing, sure, but at the same time a song about accepting who you are.
in the same vane as Lana — “God Kicks” by Therapy? — An Irish band likely no one’s heard of, it’s a bizarre tune that plays off of an Irish phrasing to ask if you’re Catholic or Protestant “With what foot do you kick?”, contains the line “God kicks with both feet, and keeps his shoes clean.” AKA – God’s got all of our backs, yo. Doesn’t matter who you are or what defines you, as long as you’re a good person. ( /me pours out a 40 for God..er.. )
And anything off the King’s X “Dogman” album. Perhaps I’m just reading into it, but I immediately detected personal issues with the lyrics, and later the lead singer / bassist Doug Pinnick came out of the closet. This album seems to nearly document his emotional issues/etc while doing so.. but again, I could be looking too deep there. “Cigarettes” is a great, yet terribly sad tune from it — “Have you gotten any cigarettes? Have you got anything for me?”
Man. I think I just depressed myself. ;) Tell your friend to pay attention to the pop tunes, ignore the crap I recommended ;)
May 12th, 2009 at 8:15 am
You all need to listen to “Driving Home” by Lorna. It is on her CD titled “God Forbid” This is a great song as well as all the others on the disc.
“Litany” ,sometimes mistakenly called “Lick Me”, is another great song. You readers need to check these out. Go to Lorna’s website and download or buy this truly great CD.
May 12th, 2009 at 9:46 am
Thanks for the shameless plug, dad. I’ll have your 20 bucks for you the next time we get together. :)
May 12th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JuDV6fGBMw&feature=related
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