Tampa Calling

I am dating a guitarist. Original, I know.

The point is, though, that I have a unique inside vision to the woes that local bands endure. Joel, my boyfriend, is in the band Dreadful Memories (who freakin’ rock by the way — check them out). They work so hard, I mean really. Whenever Joel and I both have a day off, it’s hardly spent together because he needs to get to practice. All the members of the band have at least one part time job, some of them have two and all of them struggle to make ends meet.

I have bought more than my fair share of tickets to their shows, just to make sure they sell enough to be able to play. They’ve dealt with producers and agencies that seem to care only about profit rather than actually helping local bands make it. They struggle to have enough time for the band and the rest of their lives. They deal with the struggles of everyday life while trying to win the right to their dreams day after day. It just seems like they can’t get a break.

For example; drummers suck.

Out of the three drummers they’ve had in the year that the current members have made up the band, not one of them has been reliable. It’s funny to me because my dad is a drummer (and a guitarist and pianist, among other things) and I’ve never seen him as unreliable… but maybe that’s because of his multi-talents.

Guys who are just drummers, the one’s who pride themselves on hitting the round noise-makers with sticks, are the most unreliable assholes I’ve ever encountered. I mean, yeah, it takes a certain amount of talent to be able to bang the noise boxes hard enough and long enough to create a beat — but it isn’t rocket science. You’re not doing some great justice for the world. Drum machines sound just as good … and cause none of the problems.

In case you were wondering, I dated a drummer too. He had all of the aforementioned characteristics … hence the term “dated.”

But to Dreadful Memories’ drummer problems. The first drummer, the brother of one of the guitarists in the band, decided that he would flip out and choke another guitarist in the band, resulting in immediate termination due to the fact that his crazy ass might do it again. The second drummer, friend of one of the guitarists, was way too lazy to practice and actually came up with a story that involved him being in jail for underage drinking in order to avoid practice one day — which also resulted in a boot to his ass.

The third and current drummer is already in another band, so Dreadful Memories doesn’t really matter to him, he’s only in it to help out the suffering band members. So in the meantime they have been searching fruitlessly for another, more reliable and motivated drummer to join the band. Ha. They spoke with one over Myspace who was supposed to come “interview” with them, but he called a day before the interview to explain that “dire circumstances” are preventing him from showing up … It might just be me, but if I don’t show up for an interview, I don’t expect to get the job. DRUMMERS!

We knew it would be hard to start a band and become successful and maybe we’ve been jumping the gun a little bit for success, but they’re anxious to get things rolling, and I have to say I wouldn’t mind rolling either … (in the dough of fame-dom) but we just never expected to find such a personality trend in the drummers.

For the sake of being politically correct, however, I’m not saying that ALL drummers are awful scumbags, only that the one’s we’ve experienced in the field have proven to be so. They’re sometimes nice guys that get wrapped up in the drummer persona and the large-ego world of the supposed back-bone of a band… but that’s where they need to stop and realize who and what they are becoming! I would whole-heartedly support a drummers-anonymous meeting, for those who enjoy drumming, but would like to avoid the lifestyle. Until that happy day, however, we’ll just have to catch a young one and hope he or she isn’t corrupted yet. Possible? Yes. Probable? You be the judge.

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