the 941

Where’s that virgin I ordered? - God

May 21st, 2008 by Justin Richards in Contest, Gaming, News, Religion, Say What, Travel, Whatnot

Especially if you’ve driven through North Central Florida or the panhandle, you’ve seen these billboards:

A while ago me and a friend, writer and current Baton Rouge Advocate photographer Casey Anderson, decided to come up with a few of our own. Our goal was a submission to McSweeney’s lists, but our list never quite got there. We revive the project here. Our ideas blow? Submit some of your own in the comments to this post.

Jesus is coming. Do you have an extra toothbrush? - God

Pervert. - God

Global warming, huh? How about a flood? - God

Come with me. She doesn’t love you anyway. - God

They’re demons, demons. Kill them all. - God

Did you like the cancer I sent you? - God.

Fat porn? C’mon. - God

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5 Responses to “Where’s that virgin I ordered? - God”

1. g-man Says:
   May 22nd, 2008 at 10:38 am

   I meant American Idols, too! - God

2. Joe Bardi Says:
   May 22nd, 2008 at 12:50 pm

   Have you seen my idiot son anywhere? —God

3. J-Dawg Says:
   May 29th, 2008 at 10:18 pm

   Pull my finger. -God

   What’s that? You say you want to meet me? Ok, that’s fine. Just keep reding this sign. That’s it. Good, good. Now watch out for that … -God

   I voted for Nader. -God

   I’m sorry, your grandma didn’t make it to Heaven. -God

   Sorry about the 20th century. I heard the alarm, then I hit the snooze button, but then it didn’t ring again. Well, you know how it is. -God

   You know why you didn’t get that toy for Christmas. You know. -God

   I sent you a Facebook friend request FIVE times and you still haven’t accepted them. -God

   Disobey me and I will make your life a living palindrome. -God

   If I didn’t exist, then how come I know what number you’re thinking of right now? -God

   I put all those dinosaur bones in the ground to mess with your head. -God

   Is that it? So I have to resort to leaving messages on highway billboards to get your attention now? Wow. You know what, I give up. You guys are on your own. -God

4. Justin Richards Says:
   June 10th, 2008 at 11:08 pm

   Jesus Christ added you as a friend in my book

5. Justin Richards Says:
   June 10th, 2008 at 11:09 pm

   Jesus Christ added you as a friend in my book. - God