the 941

Shut up, Screech. Don’t make us get all A.C. Slater on your ass (we don’t really know what that means).

The Batman on the toilet. And yet still, we swoon…

Ouchy ouch. Ouch. OWWWWW.

Matt LeBlanc to manager: How YOU doin’? No, really.

We loves us some Chelsea Handler, but we wish she would’ve been harder on this jerk. Like, punch him in the face or something.

Maybe this is just because people deliberately aren’t buying the paper, but…

For all you chicken feces out there, a less painful way (for you) to dump someone. (Don’t bother with the “It’s better than by text” defense, ya douchenozzle.)

Today in casting news: Hercules! Hercules!

Wikipedia, you just got served. Or Googled, or something.

This makes us want to punch MTV in the face.

Speaking of punching, cue the Ms. Winehouse blurb.

Ah, we’ve been saying Mr. SNL has been reading our mind for years... (except for that painfully unfunny decade or so)

And finally, a rant from a faithful reader that’s worth repeating verbatim: “Jim’s Cell Phone Ring Law: The more fucking annoying the ring tone, the longer it takes the tool to get it out of their pocket/bag/asshole to answer it. Also, the owner of said phone will have a loud and annoying voice and will always penetrate my personal space bubble with some sort of vapid conversation. And I’m sorry, having a sexy ringtone song for your fat and ugly wife is really over the top.”

Cheers.

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