St. Pete Police conduct penis raid
July 28th, 2008 by Justin Richards in Arts, Politics, Whatnot
A giant statue of a penis, a naked man suspended from a harness. The St. Petersburg police have arrested those responsible, protecting ordinary citizens from the grotesque and freakish sight of male genitalia.
The owner of Erotic Lounge art gallery has closed his business (thank the gods!), but will instead focus his efforts on suing the St. Penisburg — sorry, Petersburg — police. I hope the department is not distracted from this lawsuit by any violent crimes.
The offending sculpture is available on eBay. It’s made of wood, so we recommend that anyone with a few hundred extra dollars purchase it quickly and douse it with kerosene.
Let’s face it: People look like mutants with their clothes off. Ropy, uncontrollable appendages, wounds that never heal. God created us in his own image, but the devil stole in while our bodies were cooling and gave us the mutilations of demons. Lest that madness take over, we must never expose our viler parts except in darkness or in the holy light of an X-ray machine.
July 31st, 2008 at 8:52 am
Obviously a story written by a blue hair. Let me guess you’re voting for McCain too. The world will be a better place when you all die.
July 31st, 2008 at 9:32 am
Obviously a comment written by a sinner. In heaven I’ll have a special crystal ball so I can watch you and Obama toil in the sulfur fields.