Horrifying Pop Hellscape of the Day: Thomas Kincade’s the Christmas Cottage
November 18th, 2008 by Cooper Levey-Baker in Arts, Editor's Desk, FilmI can deal with warm and fuzzy Christmas fare all day long (well, okay, not really, but hear me out), but sometimes a holiday artifact inspires such dread that you want to hunker down in a concrete-walled bunker impervious to Yuletide joy. Thomas Kincade’s the Christmas Cottage is just such an unholy nightmare of a film.
You may know Thomas Kincade for his revolutionary method of painting with light, earning him the moniker Thomas Kincade, Painter of Light and also somehow making him “America’s most collected living artist.” (I’m quoting from the Man’s website here, folks. He can’t be exaggerating, can he?) Christmas Cottage marks the Painter of Light’s first foray into motion pictures and, after being held back from theatrical release last year, it finally hits the market in DVD form this week. While you might expect a stark, unflinching look at a world devoid of morality and human kindness, Christmas Cottage — judging by the trailer, at least — is actually gooey, soft-focus cheersploitation. Hide the kids, watch the trailer, then fear for the future of man.
How in the world does this thing feature actual actors? Marcia Gay Harden? Peter O’Toole? Um, Chris Elliott? The most heartrending casting decision, though, involves star and Kincade stand-in Jared Padalecki, who, not so long ago, was lighting up the small screen with his epic turn as Dean Forester on the now-canceled Gilmore Girls. (Okay, so I’m a little obsessed.) First House of Wax, Jared, now this? For shame.
November 19th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Let me gets this straight. You are judging/reviewing a movie based soley on it trailer (quite negatively I might add)? Okay, that seems fair. Thanks for the input but I will wait to decide for myself once I actually see it.
November 19th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
For the record, it is indeed unfair to judge a film by its trailer. That said, sometimes extraordinary situations arise in which one is obligated to throw aside the normal conventions of common decency in order to serve a higher purpose. (The higher purpose in this case being to raise awareness of what promises to be a horrible, horrible film.)
But, Jancy, please do check out the film for yourself, then please return to this space and let us know what you thought. Who knows? We might have a hidden masterpiece on our hands.
November 19th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
I’ve seen the entire movie, and it is not a hidden masterpiece, it is pretty gooey and super sweet. That said though, I was pleasantly surprised by it. I honestly thought it would be unwatchable, or at least embarrasing, but not at all. It was a nice little movie. A Hallmark or Lifetime Christmas movie. (To use the Jared Padalecki vernacular, I thought it would be New York Minute but it was actually Cry Wolf. Or, more watchable than House of Wax, but no Supernatural).
I can understand why Peter O’Toole did it. His character gives him the opportunity to play an artist who is a passionate man and adamant about his opinions on art, but is also very depressed by the loss of his wife and slips in and out of delusions and semi-comatose states. So much so that when seeing him speak in one of the bonus extras, after watching the movie, I was shocked by his complete lucididty. I bet it was fun to play that.
Marcia Gay Hardin does well in her role but I can’t say that her character ever really grabbed me.
Richard Moll, Chris Elliot and Charlotte Rae are given ‘character’ roles which they play very well. Geoffrey Lewis however, realy does a great turn with his role and made me feel the man’s grief.
Richard Burgi was given a bad stereotype to play and he brought more humanity and sympathy to it than I would have thought possible.
Aaron Ashmore was completely robbed as his two best scenes were left out of the movie. Be sure and watch the deleted scenes to see his work. Otherwise he has a typical little brother role, which he plays well.
Jared Padalecki was well cast, as his character is lost and conflicted throughtout the movie and he is the kind of actor who can play that. He can REACT well, which is a talent that many actors could use a little work on. He is a sympathetic character and I actually cared about what happened to him, even though the ending was predictable from the beginning. He has one major scene with Peter O’Toole, which he plays the hell out of. He needs to carry this movie and he does.
And it is a heavy load to carry. The script sucks. Period. Only the performances save it. The editing is also very bad, imo. I feel like they used voice-overs in some parts to explain what was happening in scenes where actual scenes showing what was going on would have helped. Also the is a montage of things going on at one point that seemed rushed and confusing to me. Like – we need these scenes but instead we’ll just show you a second of each and hope you can figure it out for yourself.
So I give it a C+.
November 19th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
Thanks for the thorough analysis, Dairwendan. What made you pick up the film, if you were hesitant to watch it at first?
November 20th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
I was a big fan of Richard Burgi in “The Sentinel” and have become a big fan of Jared Padalecki’s through “Supernatural” so ultimately, even the onus of Thomas Kinkade couldn’t keep me away from a film in which they worked together.
November 20th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Your interest in Burgi and Padalecki must be strong, Dairwendan, to withstand the dreadful power of the Painter of Light.