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Monday’s choice tidbits are few and far between, but duty, as they say, calls. And my post-Thanksgiving gift to you: No Star Trek or Watchmen updates.

Black Friday, indeed: Steve Guttenberg says sequels to Police Academy and Three Men and a Baby are in the works. Ha, ha, good one, Steve. Seriously, stop kidding around. No, really. Shut the fuck up.

Joss Whedon ready to bring Buffy the Vampire Slayer back to the big screen.

Hold on to your hormones, ladies: Johnny Depp and Christian Bale are respective adversaries John Dillinger and Melvin Purvis in Michael Mann’s Public Enemies, a Cream Team pairing sure to keep theater ushers everywhere on “moist-seat alert.” Have your canisters of talcum powder ready, boys!

Tom Tykwer’s The International is set to open next year’s 59th Annual Berlin Film Festival. Normally I wouldn’t post this kind of Eurocentric fare, but Tykwer’s Run Lola Run is one of my favorite films, and with Clive Owen and Naomi Watts starring, I can’t wait to get a look at this. (Unless, of course, the buzz is really bad, in which case I’ll slam the film sight unseen.)

And finally, some strong Oscar buzz is swirling around Clint Eastwood’s performance in the upcoming Gran Torino.

See, I told you there’d be no Star Trek or Watchmen. Have a great Monday.

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