Introducing a new 941 column… Driven Mad, an insider’s behind-the-scenes look at the life of a limousine chauffeur
June 8th, 2009 by Tom Fairchild in Editor's Desk, News, Sarasota-Manatee
In the limousine world, a driver needs to remember only three simple rules: Arrive at the pickup address on time, uniformed and sober. Everything will flow from there, whether it’s a simple airport transfer or a night of wildness and excess.
When the job at hand is a pickup on Longboat Key at 4 a.m., it’s reassuring to know there are only three. From the alarm ringing at 2:15 till I pull under the porte cochere of the customer’s building at 3:45, those rules are all I need to remember.
Uniform: pants on, tie straight, shoelaces tied — check.
Pickup time: 10 to 15 before the request — check.
Last drink: two nights ago — check.
Okay, now I can relax.
Except that it isn’t true. Now is the point at which things are likely to get tricky. Importantly, it is 3:45 in the morning, a time at which no one operates at his or her peak. The security man at the front gate guardhouse had a wad of dip in his cheek the size of one of Tiger Woods’ balls. Golf balls. Strung-out barely describes him. We agreed that he would call my customer to tell him I had arrived — the standard practice — at around five minutes to 4.
So picture me in the Lincoln Town Car, dressed in black suit and tie, waiting, hoping like hell that Bubba made the call.
The night breeze blows sweetly as I pass the remaining minutes.
4 a.m. strikes. I wait for my gentleman passenger to alight the elevator.
4:05 comes and goes. No activity in the lobby.
4:15 and now I’m concerned. Should I call the condo and see if he’s awake? Did Bubba forget to call, and screw me?
4:20 and I’m worried. Is it the right day? Is the time correct? Is Mr. Customer lying helpless in his shower having suffered a myocardial infarction?
4:25 and I’m about to do the unthinkable and call the man’s apartment, when the lift doors open, revealing my boy and his two roller bags, iBuds in his iEars, nonchalant as can be.
“Good morning, Sir.” I smile, genuinely pleased to see him. He doesn’t answer. He’s got better things to do at 4:30 in the morning.
October 26th, 2009 at 11:22 am
[...] Pleased to meet you POSTED JUNE 8 [...]