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Ed. note: This piece, by Rob Brezsny, will appear in this week’s issue of Creative Loafing.

FAMOUS Cancer: Actor Don Knotts was born on July 21, 1924.

CANCER
The Crab
(June 21-July 22)

I believe that when you chatter carelessly about a big change that’s in the works, you’re in danger of draining it of some of its potency. So I don’t want to trumpet or gossip about the gift that’s on its way to you. I’ll just mention that it’s coming, and urge you to prepare a clean, well-lit place for it to land. Here’s a hint: It could, among other things, help you convert one of your vulnerabilities into a strength or inspire you to start transforming an area of ignorance into a future source of brilliance.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): At the farmer’s market, an escape artist performed in the middle of the street. As a crowd gawked, he had two big, strong men tie him up tight in a straitjacket and 50 feet of chain. For the next 20 minutes, he shimmied and contorted and bent over backward. There were no puffs of smoke or distracting assistants. In the end, after he wrestled his way out of the straitjacket, he said simply, “Now I invite all of you to go home and use what I just did as a metaphor for your life.” It was a supremely sexy performance, and I realized maybe it would help you with your current situation.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Your concentration for dicey assignments, like conquering fear and adversity, is sharp. And I bet you’ll summon a lot of stamina and resourcefulness if you’re pressed to solve a crucial riddle during a turning point in your journey. On the other hand, humdrum details have the potential to flummox you, especially if they involve tasks you’re not even that interested in or committed to. Banish absent-mindedness by keeping yourself focused on only the most riveting challenges.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The sky will not start falling. But something resembling heavenly tokens may cascade down with such frequency that you’ll be wise to look up a lot. You never know when another piece of the blessed puzzle will come raining down. And it would be a shame to suffer the embarrassment of having your favorable fortune knock you over. Who’d have ever guessed that a shower of good news would be such a tricky trial?

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): How well are you capitalizing on this year’s unique opportunities, Scorpio? I hope that by now you have at least begun building the power spot that will serve as your foundation for the coming years. Remember my promises: Life has been and will continue to be conspiring to get you settled in your ideal home base and connect you with the resources that will fuel your long-term quest.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In the Middle Ages, people became adults when they turned 7 years old. These days, the threshold is much later. In my view, the longer you can hold on to your innocent lust for life, the better. Still, there is value in taking on the kinds of responsibilities that help you express yourself with grace and power. So I don’t mean to rush you, but it might be time to take a step toward preparing to accept more adulthood into your heart. You could make the process less harrowing by hanging out with those rare wise guys and wise girrrls who’ve survived the transition to greater maturity with their youthful flair more or less intact.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I don’t care what you feel this week, as long as you don’t feel nothing. Get inflamed with hunger or beauty or love, but don’t submit to apathy. You can’t afford to be cut off from the source of your secret self, even if it means having to feel like hell for a while. So to hell with your poker face and neutrality and dispassionate stance. Be a wild thing, not a mild thing.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The Iliad is an ancient Greek epic poem that describes events near the end of the Trojan War. Most modern critics regard it as a foundation stone of Western literature. In my opinion, though, it’s mostly just a gruesome tale of macho haters who are inflamed with pride, treat women like property, and can’t stop killing each other. Now please adopt the style of my critique for use in your own life, Aquarius. What supposedly noble or important situation is actually pretty trivial or clichéd?

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “May you live in interesting times.” That old toast is actually a droll curse meant to be heaped upon an enemy. What’s preferable is to live during a boring era when stability reigns. Or so the argument goes. But I reject that line of thought. I celebrate that we’re embroiled in interesting times. I proclaim our struggles to navigate the sharp turns and uphill climbs to be a jubilee of the first degree. Now get out there, Pisces, and enjoy the hell out of the epic and entertaining drama we’re stewarding.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): A pointless pain in the butt will soon stop bugging you. Meanwhile, an annoying itch in your heart is subsiding, and may even disappear. As a result of these happy developments, you will be able to concentrate on a much more interesting torment that has been waiting impatiently for your loving attention. But as before, it’s a torment you’ve never had the right name for. That’s about to change, however. You’re finally ready to find the right name for it, and when you do, you’ll be halfway toward a permanent cure.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): When he was growing up, the father of basketball superstar Pat Riley forced him to play basketball with kids who were stronger and tougher than he was. I can see the principle at work, but it doesn’t come naturally to me. Nevertheless, the time has come to override my personal desires for the sake of your character-building needs. I recommend that you force yourself to play with grown-up kids who’re stronger and tougher than you.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I wouldn’t get too agitated about the supposed “writing on the wall” if I were you. The handwriting is not God’s, for God’s sake. So don’t attribute too much authority to it, please. It’s just the opinion of someone who doesn’t know any more about the ultimate truth than you do. So I suggest you cover it up with black spray paint and then carefully inscribe your own version of the writing on the wall. Reality is especially malleable right now, so the most forcefully expressed prophecy will probably come true.

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