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The wait is over. Joe and I return to the studio for our fourth Reel Projections podcast, 20 minutes of windbagging about the best films of the year (most of which we didn’t see), the biggest moneymakers and my utter lack of preparation for the show. Special Listener Bonus: another appearance by singer/songwriter Clint Eastwood.

Don’t call it a comeback: Tired of hearing about Mickey Rourke’s return to form in critics’ darling The Wrestler? Well, you’ve got company, ’cause apparently so is Mickey.

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The New York Times is reporting that 20th Century Fox will try to delay the release of Watchmen. Deadline Hollywood Daily has a statement from Warner Bros. on the lawsuit.

This week’s DVD releases: Rope of Silicon runs down Paramount’s new Blu-Ray titles, including the Patrick Swayze stupid-face fest, Ghost; Tom Cruise going vroom vroom with Nicole Kidman in Days of Thunder; Event Horizon and The Truman Show.

Q: Who’s the most reviled movie critic? A: Ben Lyons. He’s so hated (and with good reason), that CriticWatch’s Erik Childress has a blog dedicated to using Lyons’s own words against him:

Is it possible that New York publicists have a poster of Ben Lyons in their office with the slogan that reads β€œPut critics in a theater full of people laughing with free tickets and one of them may laugh too?” What if the Bedtime Stories crowd was laughing at Ben Lyons laughing? Or just Ben Lyons? I guarantee he’s produced more unintentional laugh lines than Sandler & Co. did this year. Take for example:

β€œI think the live-action family film is a lost art nowadays with so many CGI computer generated films for kids who see a live-action film that plays to the wonder of imagination and takes us on these adventures and has funny lines from Russell Brand that the older audiences will enjoy. There’s lots of that throughout this film.”

In the Spirit of Samuel L. Jackson, whose film (one of the very worst of the year) somehow gets a β€œrent it” from Mankiewicz, I believe I speak for everyone when I say…

β€œENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT!!!???”

FirstShowing.net lists its 19 Best Movies That You Didn’t See. It’s so dead-on, it’s almost like they wrote it specifically to me.

USA Today has pics from this summer’s Transformers sequel. We now know there will be robots, military personnel investigating mysterious blue thingies, pyramids, explosions and Shia LaBeouf doing what he does best β€” running for his life with something in his hand (this time it’s Megan Fox).

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As St. Pete Times media critic Eric Deggans noted recently, year-end top 10 lists are an easy way for columnists to fill space while also allowing them to take another shot at films they disliked and praise those worthy of the honor. If you’ve been following Reel Projections for the past few weeks, you know that every few days, another critics’ organization has issued its best-of picks for 2008.

Not me. Instead, I thought I’d give a tip of the cap to those critics who toiled in darkened theaters and saved me my hard-earned money by warning me off a slew of films I had been at least somewhat interested in seeing.

When I want to gauge the overall critical reaction to a new film, the first place I head is Rotten Tomatoes, which provides a useful consensus, expressed as a number (anything below 60 is considered bad).

Here then, are the Top 8 of 2008 I initially wanted to see before the critics cut them down to size, along with some of the pithiest, nastiest comments by reviewers:

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Eat me, baby! Megan Fox to star as a flesh-munching cheerleader in Diablo Cody’s Jennifer’s Body. Which is great news, because that means I get to post a gratuitous pic of Megan Fox. (For the last time, she’s the hot girl from Transformers.)

Four more critics’ picks: Slumdog Millionaire (now playing in the Tampa Bay area) tops two more best-of lists (including Florida), while The Dark Knight and Frost/Nixon each get the number one spot by other tastemakers.

Tim-mah! Tim Robbins reported to play Iron Man’s dad. Discuss.

Hot stuff: David Fincher is cooking up something with Keanu Reeves. Seriously, the title is Chef.

Dredd-ful: A new Judge Dredd film is on the way. I wish I were kidding.

The Final Frontier: Majel Barrett-Roddenberry passes away at 76.

A hot chick totally wants to do me, and I’ve got an angel of a wife at home – score! Take one part Fatal Attraction, one part The Temp, add the ending of Pacific Heights, mix with a dash of Jungle Fever and voila! – Obsessed, yet another brain-dead male fantasy film masquerading as a lurid thriller:

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Austin Film Critics have picked their best of 2008, and guess who cleaned up in the Best Picture, Director, Adapted Screenplay and Supporting Actor categories? JUST TAKE A WILD GUESS. That’s right. The Dark Knight. Fellow Texans the Dallas-Ft. Worth Film Critics Association gave Best Picture to Slumdog Millionaire, as well as Best Director to Danny Boyle for the same flick. Oh, and they also rewarded Heath Ledger with Best Supporting Actor. Read the rest of the winners here.

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First things first: Shakespeare didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about. Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow may have crept along in a petty pace back in the Bard’s day when everybody spoke in impenetrable soliloquies, but no more. Not if you strap into your computer chair armed with a hoagie and obsess over every single bit of minutiae about upcoming movies. More specifically, big-budget movies that need years of post-production because all the advanced special-effects technology in the world still requires 300 programmers slaving 21-hour days to complete about 20 seconds of screen time. Take the Star Wars prequels as an example: Those films were released in 1999, 2002 and 2005. And how did this geek (along with millions of others) fill each three-year gap? By visiting sites like Countingdown.com every blessed day to get my fix of the latest production still or plot rumor or spoiler. Time didn’t just fly, into went to hyperdrive, and before I knew it: Presto! Another SW film to insult my childhood memories.

And that brings me to Tron 2, which has cast its first two female leads. That’s just the tip of the proverbial iceberg of what will be many updates, rumors and speculation about Tron 2 for the next year, because even though it’s supposed to be shooting in the spring, it won’t be released until 2010. And that means a lot of fanboys huddled close to a warm computer monitor, x-ing out the days on the calendar.

Harrison Ford has signed on to the comedy Morning Glory, apparently to kill some time before the next big-budget movie where he gets to make his patented super-serious Harrison Ford Face.

Rob Zombie is making a sequel to Halloween. Actually, to his remake of Halloween. Big news, I know. So let’s let the cinematic auteur speak for himself:

“I was so burned out. (But) I took a long break, made a record and I got excited again. Now, we’ll be hauling ass, and that’s the problem making a movie called ‘Halloween’: If you come out Nov. 1 or after, nobody cares. If it was called anything else, I’d be fine.”

Yes, if only he were directing the third installment of Bridget Jones’ Diary, Rob could take his sweet time eliciting a winning performance from Renee Zellweger. But you degenerates just have to have your fucking Halloween …

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New on DVD/Blu-ray: Mamma Mia!, The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, The Third Man.

Cinemablend has a cool little interview with Mickey Rourke talking about his new film, The Wrestler.

The Horror! Stephen King’s 10 best movies of 2008. It’s a pretty respectable list, with the exception of Tropic Thunder, which would have been total shit save for Robert Downey Jr.’s performance.

AFI has also released its top 10 films of the year, with all the usual suspects accounted for. However, one surprise was Wendy and Lucy, which I hadn’t heard of ’til now. I dutifully found the trailer and can attest that it looks like a seriously heartbreaking piece of filmmaking. A check of the film’s official website doesn’t have it coming to Florida (at least not through March 26). Which kinda pisses me off, because if I’m going to watch a Depressing Important Film, it sure would be nice to see it on the big screen with a bunch of other people to share my tears with instead of alone, in my room, wearing my pj’s and feeling like an emotional basket case. One more thing: The dog better not fucking die. (Trailer follows the jump.)

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First things first: The Guardian lists its top 8 most ridiculous plots of 2008. A fun read, and you should have quite a chuckle at numbers 1 and 2.

It’s a tie! Boston Society of Film Critics puss out and give Best Picture honors to both Wall-E and Slumdog Millionaire. Read the rest of the winners here.

First trailer for X-Men Origins: Wolverine: After watching it, you can head over to your favorite message board and write things like, “Cool! I can’t wait for this movie! Wolverine RULEZ!!”

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First things first: Pinup girl Bettie Page dies at 85.

Just imagine how good the movie will be: Feast your sore eyes on the ass-tastic poster for the upcoming The Unborn, which was written and directed by David S. Goyer, whose writing credits include The Dark Knight, Batman Begins, the Blade trilogy and Jumper. I could say a few dissertation-worthy things about this poster as an example of our culture’s ambivalent feelings toward female sexuality and evil. But why get all serious on a flick that features Gary Oldman as a Rabbi performing an exorcism and a character whose last name is Hardigan, which, if you ask me, is truth in advertising right there. “Evil will do anything to live.” And I want to be bad. So very, very bad.

Sounds great! Majel Barrett-Roddenberry, widow of Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry, will voice the computer of the Enterprise in the upcoming Star Trek film. Which I found of interest only because it permits me to include a Star Trek update in this post.

How did the Hollywood glitterati react to the Golden Globes nominations? Variety has their thoughts here.

ScreenRant rants about the Dark Knight snub at the Golden Globes and Cinema Blend chides awards givers about overlooking the Batman. (Money quote: The Golden Globes are “a vague entity run by a strange and mysterious European shadow organization.”)

Speaking of Dark Knight: It’s breaking more records.

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The 2009 Golden Globes nominees have been announced. Tell us who you think will win/ shouldn’t have been nominated/ was looked over.

BEST MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Frost/Nixon
The Reader
Revolutionary Road
Slumdog Millionaire

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
Anne Hathaway, Rachel Getting Married
Angelina Jolie, Changeling
Meryl Streep, Doubt
Kristin Scott Thomas, I’ve Loved You So Long
Kate Winslet, Revolutionary Road

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
Leonardio DiCaprio, Revolutionary Road
Frank Langella, Frost/Nixon
Sean Penn, Milk
Brad Pitt, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Mickey Rourke, The Wrestler

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