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Ever get that e-mail that asks you to spot the difference in two seemingly identical pictures? You sit there staring intently when the pic suddenly changes to a scary old witch, the speakers pound out a loud shock chord and you make a deposit at the bank of BVD. I was reminded of this prank while watching Drag Me to Hell, a back-to-basics horror movie from Spider-Man director Sam Raimi. Time and again the camera moves in on Christine, a corporate-ladder-climbing bank rep ably played by Alison Lohman, as she stares off into the distance trying to spot the devil that haunts her. Wind rustles through a tree, shadows dance across the floor, and then — wham! — the specter appears and scares the bejezzus out of her.

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1. National Lampoon’s Vacation. Chevy Chase stars as suburban everyman Clark W. Griswold, who drags his family across the country in search of theme-park Nirvana. The trip is beset by all manner of disaster (detours, accidents, dead relatives strapped to the roof, etc.), each one funnier than the last. Vacation was directed by Harold Ramis from a script by John Hughes and might be the best work either man ever did.

2. Stand By Me. Four boys take a mid-summer hike in search of a dead body in this film from director Rob Reiner. Stand By Me has an incredible cast (River Phoenix, Keifer Sutherland, Richard Dreyfuss) and is notable as the single best movie adaptation of a Stephen King story ever produced. I love it because it allows the kids to be kids, foul mouths and all.

3. Woodstock. The ultimate document of the ultimate summer vacation. Michael Wadleigh’s film captures three days of peace, love and music (not necessarily in that order) from the famous summer 1969 concert in upstate New York. I caught Woodstock on TV a few weeks ago, and it’s still a remarkable concert film and powerful recollection of an era.

4. Summer Rental. The late/great John Candy stars as an air traffic controller who just wants to take the fam to the beach for a few days of rest. Notable both for being filmed in Clearwater and for the scene in which a recent breast implantee shows Candy the goods and makes him touch ’em. Classic.

5. One Crazy Summer. The oddest film on this list, One Crazy Summer stars John Cusack and Demi Moore as young adults summering on Nantucket who run afowl of a local developer and his lunk-headed son. Directed by Savage Steve Holland (Better Off Dead), the film gleefully mixes in animation, sight gags and a choice sequence in which Bobcat Goldthwaite dons a Godzilla costume and tramples a large-scale model of the island.

6. Indian Summer. A Big Chill lite, Indian Summer follows a group of 30-somethings who reunite at a fondly remembered summer camp to reminisce, share deep secrets and then move on with their adult lives. The movie is well cast (Diane Lane, Alan Arkin and Kevin Pollock) and works as gentle, non-threatening summer entertainment.

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A long time ago in a galaxy, wait — wrong space opera. Star Trek is that other massively successful sci-fi saga that spawned 10 feature films, four TV series and all the related toys/games/fetish-wear that goes with it. Trek inspired the adoration of millions of our more interesting citizens and enjoyed a string of big-time success throughout the 1980s and ’90s. But then the franchise fell on hard times, the movies started to suck (see: Star Trek: Nemesis) and the remaining TV show (Enterprise) was cancelled. Star Trek was never “cool,” per se, but this rapid descent into irrelevance was ridiculous.

Enter J.J. Abrams. The mastermind behind Lost and Alias, Abrams had already hopped aboard an existing property only to see his Mission: Impossible III fail at the box office. Don’t fret, Trekkies, this time out the news is good. Abrams has made the best Star Trek film in a while, at least since 1991’s Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, and he has succeeded in breathing new life into the Trek franchise. However, he’s done this at the expense of jettisoning the entire existing mythology of the original Trek series. You still with me, superfans?

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Ah, summer: Stifling temperatures, huge thunderstorms and rampaging mosquitoes sucking all the hemoglobin out of the Bay area. It’s enough to drive you indoors until Halloween. Good thing Hollywood breaks out the big guns for the blockbuster summer movie season, making this a perfect time to hit the multiplex. 

Like most years, 2009’s summer slate is heavy on sequels (Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen), reboots (Star Trek), kiddie fare (Up) and comedies (Funny People). Female cinephiles can take heart: It’s not all about the boys this year. After the success of last year’s Sex and the City and Mamma Mia!, Tinseltown is serving up a slew of female-friendly fare in 2009, starring the likes of Sandra Bullock, Katherine Heigl, Cameron Diaz and Meryl Streep.

In the following pages, we separate the Potter from the Pelham to help you figure out what’s worth plunking down your hard-earned cash for. And what you see before you is just scratching the summer-movie surface. We’ll be previewing the second of the summer movie season in coming months.

MAY 8

Box Office Gold: Star Trek (We’ll have a review of this one up right here later this morning. The review is here.)

Counter-programming: Star Trek’s black hole-like pull has left few other releases on the schedule this weekend. As it stands, your options are Love N Dancing, a chick flick starring Amy Smart as a dance teacher who takes her student to the top of the dance world in an effort to spite her neglectful husband (Billy Zane, of course), and Next Day Air, a harder-edged version of Half-Baked starring Donald Faison and Mos Def. 

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Ed. note: This post comes from our friends at The Daily Loaf.

In the first major review of Watchmen, Variety’s Justin Chang has mixed feelings about the much anticipated superhero flick. An excerpt:

Yet the movie is ultimately undone by its own reverence; there’s simply no room for these characters and stories to breathe of their own accord, and even the most fastidiously replicated scenes can feel glib and truncated. As “Watchmen” lurches toward its apocalyptic (and slightly altered) finale, something happens that didn’t happen in the novel: Wavering in tone between seriousness and camp, and absent the cerebral tone that gave weight to some of the book’s headier ideas, the film seems to yield to the very superhero cliches it purports to subvert.

Uh oh, Watchmen fans. Did Snyder just fuck up your baby? You’ll have to wait until March 6 to find out.

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Here’s the latest from Brave New Films, a look at Goldman Sachs’ 2002 purchase of Burger King and the wage slavery the BK employees live under:

It’s just infuriating. Both the Democrats and Republicans are bought and paid for by companies like Goldman, so there is no surprise in Congress rolling over. However, I do find myself wondering where all the grandstanding Republicans are on this issue? After going insane over a few hundred million of stimulus money directed toward family planning, you’d think they might have something to say about a company lining its pockets with $10 BILLION of taxpayer money while the employees can’t afford food. Oh wait, that would indicate intellectual honesty. My mistake.

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Last scene sulking off the field in World Series defeat, the Tampa Bay Rays opened spring training this morning with their first full-squad workout. After the depressing end to last year (can you say “unfinished business”?), it’s great to have the American League Champions back on the diamond, preparing for a long campaign against the high-spending Yanks and Sox.

We plan to have an epic amount of Rays coverage this year, so come back often for updates as the hometown team makes a run at the pennant.

Ed. note: This was originally posted on The Daily Loaf.

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Note: If you haven’t done so already, make sure you enter our Oscar contest for a chance at free dinner and a movie from Creative Loafing. And don’t miss our live-blogging of the show itself, starting 7 p.m. on Sunday night, right here on The Daily Loaf.

Now, we continue our countdown to Oscar night with a look at a major award up for grabs on Sunday. (Yesterday was Best Supporting Actor.) Today, we break down:

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Nominees: Amy Adams, Doubt; Penélope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona; Viola Davis, Doubt; Taraji P. Henson, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button; Marisa Tomei, The Wrestler
Vegas odds: Cruz is smokin’ hot at 1-2, but Davis (13-4) and Tomei (5-1) could both douse her sizzle. Henson (16-1) and Adams (14-1) aren’t generating much heat at all.

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In celebration of this year’s Academy Awards, we’re going to be live blogging the ABC telecast and giving away a free dinner and movie in the process.

First things first: That free dinner and movie. Here’s how you win it:

1. Pick a winner in each of the following categories:

• Best Picture
• Best Actor
• Best Actress
• Best Supporting Actor
• Best Supporting Actress
• Best Director

2. Add your picks to the comments section of this post, along with an answer to the following tie-breaker question: At what time will the Oscar telecast end?

3. Come back to The Daily Loaf on Sunday night at 7 p.m. and follow along as we chronicle Oscar night with our usual helping of CL snark. We’ll crown a winner at the end of the evening. (Don’t worry. If you win but pass out before the show ends, we’ll send you an e-mail.)

Good luck, and I’ll see you Sunday night.

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Come on, Warner Bros.! How many of these Watchmen sneaks are you going to put together? We get it. There’s lots of brooding in slow-mo. Things explode. Glass shatters. Just release the frickin’ movie already!

In any event, if your appetite still needs whetting, check out the latest Watchmen trailer after the jump …

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