the 941

Bernie Mac…

Again, that. is. all.

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Isaac Hayes, dead at 65.

That is all.

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Cheetos = Crime solving in Minnesota.

Girl-skewing Disney Channel to court the little boys. So many jokes we could make here, but, since it’s Friday, make your own.

The man CL likes to call The Baboon is a hurtin’ real hard. Break out the Kleenex.

On that note, buy those holiday airline tickets now.

Still more signs of a limp, flaccid economy.

Jewel yodels her way down the aisle. Ah, Jewel… remember this? Priceless.

Kanye: Egomaniac, psychotic blogger, media mogul, defender of the Gays.

Speaking of which, ahem, Mr. T…

Jimmy Cameron on his new techno geek-out: 60% CGI, 40% live action, 110% “A woman’s heart is a deep ocean of secrets” dialogue doodie.

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The Bard’s original theater un-buried.

To catch you up, and it IS worth doing… Anderson Cooper vs. the Lohans, Part 1. (While we’re at it, our take.)

Part 2: Dina Dearest fires back.

Part 3: Andy responds. Ah, SNAP!

C’mon. Is this yawn-worthy report of Winehouse-induced yawns only an across-the-pond yawn? [Yawn.]

First Diddy pimps a booze, now Dre (to coincide with his Detox album, natch). Who’s next? Amy Winehouse? Yawn.

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The one guaranteed sanctuary from interwebs-related work is gone.

There’s no such thing as confidential medical records at UCLA.

The Batman passes $400 million.

Can we really call anything Tyra does only “vaguely unsettling” at this point in time?

Somebody punch this DJ in the face. Now.

While you’re at it, knock this tool out, too — with a footlong or otherwise.

Post face punch, we have the technology to build/make you all better. Just ask Madge.

Kelsey Grammer out of the hospital — again. Doc’s orders: More tossed salads, fewer scrambled eggs. C’mon, we had to use it — again.

Gawker does a fine color commentary on political family portraits.

Lord of the Dweebs Shires one on in Oregon. At least, until the Hobbitat met with foreclosure.

As we stare at the erroneously deemed “emerald” Rizpoc structure outside our office, 15 examples of truly “green” buildings.

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Courtesy of Gizmodo: Why rappers are hating on the iPhone.

Gross and grosser: Sly’s bulging… veins. Ewwww.

We’re Number One! USA! USA! USA!

There’s no pop culture or joke in this: Just a deplorable shame. (Or, to quote, Jezebel.com: “What a bunch of sick fucks.”)

Effects technician. Ledger. Bale. Now Freeman. Coinkidink? Or The Curse of the Batman?

Richard Simmons’ return to Letterman’s guest chair. Cue through-the-nostril-spewing hilarity.

Actually, of all their duets, this clip still ranks up there. Classic.

Did ya get the memo? CNN sure hopes you did.

God bless America. Or just, Utah, and this “redneck Stonehenge.” Sheesh.

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First, it was PBR. Now, The Return of Schlitz.

Six degrees of separation, yes. But six degrees of e-Kevin Bacon? The jury’s still out on that one.

Jet Blue to charge 7 bucks for a binkie and a pillow. Let’s hope they’re clean.

Mickey D’s re-evaluating that whole Dollar Menu. ‘Cause you can never put too high a price on “cheese food/product.”

Playgirl going web only. Where’s the quid pro quo, boys? Mouse hand already pre-occupied?

Morgan Freeman injured in car crash. A very graceful, dignified car crash. (Get well, and soon.)

Speaking of getting better, best wishes to the ailing Bernie Mac.

Mainstream media not benefiting as much as you’d think from election coverage. We, like everyone else, blame Katie Couric.

The UK’s Guardian says “lad mags” are responsible for the decline of western civilization. Funny, we blame Katie for this, too.

It was only a matter of time: The Dark Knight backlash. (Again, we blame…. nah, just kiddin’. [wink])

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Numbers are in, and the Batman still rules. (But why did that many people go to see the new Mummy movie, anyway?)

Not even gunfire disrupts a Diddy, et al. shindig.

American Idol’s Archuleta drops his single, “Crush.” Speaking of which…

Ow, LaBeouf’s hand.

Thirty pages of baby photos? A bit of Brangelina overkill, isn’t it? Ohhh, riiiigggght, we get it.

Laptops: Not as portable as you think.

Lohan livid at LAPD.

Ashes to ashes… How to green your funeral.

Slate reviews Pammy’s new series, Girl on the Loose. ‘Nuff said.

A Hilton utters intelligence. Film at 11.

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It was only a changeover from Hancock to The Batman movie, but…

Defamer offers a fine point-counterpoint regarding the GOP.

Also courtesy of Defamer: The Audible Laugh Inducing Headline of the Day. (This runs a close second. And, this one, too. Em, here too. Yeah. And this one. Aw Christ, we give up.)

Um kay, Pammy. You go right on ahead there and “build” you a hotel. An eco-friendly one. In Abu Dhabi. It totally took you long enough.

Xenu’s real pissed, and Tom’s lawyers have already been retained.

Separating the sexes, one pet at a time. That oughta take care of it. Boneheads.

Boneheads, part two (Hint: Wal-Mart is involved.)

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The reviews are in: Yo Mummy’s so stupid…

The lawsuit’s in: Yo Mini-Me’s so sensitive…

Speaking of which, throw us a frickin’ bone: The Love Guru sucked, but do we really have to go back to this?

Well, he already kinda sorta not so much looks like a Ramone…

This is a bit excessive, especially since Basic Instinct 2 didn’t exactly roll in the dough.

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