the 941

— Remember the Orlando Democrat who summed up the Republican health care plan thusly: “If you get sick, America, the Republican health-care plan is this: Die quickly“? Well, the man who said those words — Rep. Alan Grayson — is coming to Sarasota to address the Democratic Club of Sarasota on Dec. 6.

— A local Republican Party committee has some fiery words for the Sarasota County School Board and the 1-mill property tax renewal it has placed on March 2010 ballots: “It is necessary to replace all current school board members regardless of party affiliation as their actions have shown a disregard for one of our party’s core beliefs.”

— “The city of Sarasota is issuing a call to artists to create sculptures, which will be placed throughout downtown. A dozen sculptures will be chosen for display, and one of those 12 will be purchased by the city for $20,000 and put on permanent display.”

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In a move that threatens to make emptying your spam email folder much less amusing, the Nigerian government recently launched a big crackdown on so-called “419” scammers.

The 419 scam, named for the section of the Nigerian legal code outlawing it, reportedly rakes in billions of dollars annually. It works thusly: You know those weird all-caps obsequious business proposal emails you delete? (Ex. GREETINGS OF THE DAY TO YOU KIND SIR: I AM THE WIDOW OF FORMER ASSISTANT UNDERSECRETARY OF PETROLEUM DEVELOPMENT PETER KUMBAYA-MYLORD-KUMBAYA AND IT IS MY GREAT PLEASURE TO WRITE TO YOU AND PRESENT MY BUSINESS PROPOSAL FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION.) It turns out lots of people actually believe the emails are real.

The 419 is an advance-fee scam, meaning “guy promises to send you $800,000 if you send him $1,000 to help him take care of the legal paperwork necessary to obtain the money.”
The 419 is a worldwide phenomenon now, but it will forever be associated with Nigeria, I think, because it’s the most well-known international example of the thing Nigeria is most well-known for: corruption.

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— Sheriff Tom Knight faces allegations of accepting illegal campaign contributions last year: “The accusations first surfaced during the campaign but have now landed Knight in the sights of state investigators trying to find out whether he took money from fictitious businesses.”

— Westfield Shoppingtown: Southgate will be 243,000 square feet bigger by 2013.

— High school marching band enrollment is down for some reason, despite the fact that it’s a proven path to success in the world of hip-hop. Right, Saturns?

— Senate candidate Marco Rubio wins a straw poll conducted by the Republican Club of South Sarasota County, and Red County reports there is dissatisfaction with the Sarasota County party leadership: “Talking with those attending this meeting there is a serious concern about Governor Crist being named the ‘Statesman of the Year’ by Republican Party of Sarasota Chairman Joe Gruters. Many I spoke with are planning to boycott the event, which is the largest local party fundraiser of the year. I heard several RCSSC say they will send the $100 per seat price for the Statesmen Dinner being held on December 13, 2009 to the Rubio Campaign as a donation.”

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As I watched results of ballots being counted last week, results that would determine if same-sex marriages would be recognized in Maine, if “everything but marriage” laws would protect domestic partnerships in Washington, and if the LGBT community in Kalamazoo would be given equal rights in housing and employment, I had to wonder why the situations had to get to an election at all.  Why would anybody have to campaign to protect an individual’s right to fair housing or assure that they will not be fired because of their sexual orientation? Haven’t we learned anything about homosexuality in the 40 years since the Stonewall riots?

The person responsible for encouraging me to raise my voice and speak up in defense of gay rights was Anita Bryant. In the late 1970s Bryant began her campaign to “Save Our Children.” She promoted the idea that since homosexuals were unable to have children, they needed to convert children to the homosexual lifestyle. Although this may seem absurd to most people in 2009, it isn’t so different from listening to individuals trying to use the words of God/Jesus/Allah/__(fill in name)__ to prevent the LGBT communities from leading alternative lifestyles with some legal benefits.

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— “Tuesday the first ever full military caisson burial ceremony was held at the new Sarasota National Cemetery. This is one of the few services of this type ever to be held outside Arlington National Cemetery.” (And don’t forget: Today’s Veterans Day parade starts at 10 a.m. at the corner of Main Street and Osprey Avenue and ends at Gulfstream Avenue.)

— The City of Sarasota hands over Ed Smith Stadium to Sarasota County for the tidy sum of $1.

— We’ve already heard what Rep. Vern Buchanan had to say about health care reform at a Monday luncheon; Kim Cartlidge fills you in on the rest of Buchanan’s thoughts.

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COVER STORY

— Booze local: Two new ways to get your hands on locally made hooch.

NEWS & VIEWS

— Image of the week: Free Chipotle. Mmm…

— The week that was: The Sarasota Police Department reports hits the media.

— .Com-ments: Where the Wild Things Are, Gold Dynasty, a correction.

— Round two: Forced to find a new home, the Sarasota Boxing Club leans on supporters to forge a new path.

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Former Florida Governor and U.S. Senator Bob Graham is currently Chairman of the Commission on the Prevention of Weapons of Mass Destruction Proliferation and Terrorism and a member of the Financial Crisis Inquiry Commission. He speaks in Sarasota next Wednesday.

Sen. Bob Graham
7:30 p.m. Wed., Nov. 18, Hyatt Regency Sarasota, 1000 Boulevard of the Arts, Sarasota, 349-8350 or forumtruth.org, $20 for Forum Truth members, $25 for non-members.

How do you feel the talks with Iran about its uranium enrichment have been going?

Slow, but at least they’re going. During the Bush Administration we took the position that it was beneath us to talk to Iran. On the day Bush took office in 2001 Iran had no nuclear program, but by January 2009 there were over 500 centrifuges in Iran. So the policy of disengagement didn’t seem to be very effective.

What do you think is our biggest direct threat in the Middle East?

Pakistan. Pakistan is the blanket containing every thread that is necessary for any organization that wants one to get a weapon of mass destruction. They are the number seven nuclear state and the security of their weapons is suspect. Pakistan has a very unstable government and a shaky relationship between civilians, government and military. It has a 60-year hatred of India and that has been their reason for developing so many weapons. They have had a history of active proliferation of nuclear weapons. Part of the reason that the president is taking the time he is to decide what to do in Afghanistan is because people are urging him to see Pakistan as an annex for Afghanistan. In other words, what do we have to do in Afghanistan to contribute to what we are trying to achieve in Pakistan? Afghanistan is not nearly as important as Pakistan. Joe Biden raises the question that for every dollar we’re spending in Pakistan, either military or non-military, we’re spending $30 in Afghanistan. Is that the appropriate allocation of our resources?

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Photographer Patsy Hall will have her work displayed at Artists’ Guild Gallery on Nov. 13

Ed. note: This piece was compiled by Danielle Favreau.

VISUAL ARTS: OPENING

ALLYN GALLUP CONTEMPORARY ART GALLERY 1419 5TH St., Sarasota (366-2093 or allyngallup.com). Enveloped Outside, an exhibit by artist William Nichols, will be on display through Nov. 28. Normal hours are 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Tues.-Fri., 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Sat. Free.

ART CENTER SARASOTA 707 N. Tamiami Trail, Sarasota (365-2032 or artsarasota.org). Join Sean and Marina Colson for a Hungarian night of ethnic food, fun, culture and art. 6-9 p.m. Nov. 12. Normal gallery hours are 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Tues.-Sat. Free.

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— This is just really, really dumb: “U.S. Rep. Vern Buchanan told a Sarasota audience Monday that he voted against the health care reform bill because he thinks it will lead to rationed care and the government ‘pulling the plug’ on grandmothers to save money.” Puh. Leeze.

— It’s a rare story that makes me wish I was a middle-schooler again, but Christopher O’Donnell’s profile of a Bayshore High School class that teaches the history of hip-hop and also requires students to perform their own tracks does it. Unfortunately, methinks it can’t be long before some idiot who can’t stand the rap music launches a campaign to get the program shut down.

— “In a 40-page strategic plan released Monday, Nov. 9, Sarasota County Sheriff Tom Knight identifies five major goals that will guide the sheriff’s office for the next five years.”

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Hoping for peace between Israel and Palestine is like hoping that bacon triple cheeseburgers will become healthy, gentle dogs will live forever and senior Bush Administration officials will put on trial for torturing prisoners. Just because it’d be nice doesn’t make it any less fantastical.

Still, every few years, we seem to get our hopes up that peace is around the corner — just a “grip-’n’-grin on the White House lawn” away. Remember the 1978 Carter-brokered Camp David Accords? It was followed by the Israel-Lebanon war, the rise of Hezbollah in Lebanon, the Palestinian intifada, and the rise of Hamas in Palestine. Camp David simply relocated the battle fronts. It didn’t end the war.

The Oslo Accords of 1993 were touted for creating the framework through which Palestinians could govern themselves and negotiate peace with Israel. They were followed seven years later by a second Camp David summit, which was followed by a massive escalation of the violence between Israelis and Palestinians.

In 2002, Bush unveiled something he called the “Road Map for Peace.” It was an extraordinarily vague list of bullet-pointed goals; basically “Step 1, be nice. Step 2, talk. Step 3, settle all deep-seated animosities and violent disagreements. Step 4, have peace.” To call it a peace plan is like ripping a page out of a cookbook and calling it dinner. Like nearly all of George W. Bush’s foreign policy mishaps, the Road Map was a goal masquerading as a plan.

Nothing came of it.

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