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Ed. note: This post comes courtesy of Editorial Intern Bobby Winsler. If it were up to us, we’d have stood up for Mr. Tebow.

INAPPROPRIATE ON THE COLLEGE LEVEL:

Make a shirt that reads, “I love Tim Tebow” on the front and, “Until he sucks in the NFL” on the back.

Florida Gators’ Superman Tim Tebow was announced a Heisman Trophy finalist last night, as the quarterback looks to reclaim the prestigious award for the second year in a row. While Tebow has his second national championship game in three years on his mind, NFL teams are unlikely to have the young junior on theirs. Tebow’s slightly above-mediocre size and average accuracy may keep Florida formidable, but there has been speculation of chomping the Gator down to a running back before entering the draft. Don’t worry Tim, you’ll likely find a home in Chicago. The Bears signed and then released previous undrafted Florida quarterback Chris Leak and continue to bench former Gator QB Rex Grossman.

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Ed. note: This post comes courtesy of Eric Snider.

You didn’t think the New York Yankees were going to get aced out of the playoffs and just stand pat during the offseason, did ya? Reports have surfaced that the team has signed prized free agent pitcher C.C. Sabathia to a seven-year $161 million contract.

He’ the first cog in the Yankees shoring up their shaky starting rotation. Peter Gammons on ESPN said he thought Derek Lowe, who pitched for the Dodgers last season, would be next up for New York.

When Gammons was asked if he thought that the American League East would be a race between the Tampa Bay Rays and the Boston Red Sox, he said, “No.” Meaning, the Yankees would be very much in the thick of it, because they’ll spend whatever they nee to be there.

Meanwhile, the Rays have had dinner meetings with free agents Milton Bradley and Jason Giambi.

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Ed. note: This post comes courtesy of Eric Snider.

Talk about getting exposed. This was worse than one of those dreams where you find yourself in public in your underwear. (What, you never had one of those dreams?) The Bucs must’ve spent a lot of time in the post-game locker room examining the cleat marks all over their bodies, courtesy of the Panthers rushing attack that rang up 299 yards in last night’s game, which the Bucs lost convincingly 38-23.

Here are some random observations on the disaster that was the Bucs’ only appearance this season on Monday Night Football:

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Monte Kiffin headed to Tennessee?

Ed. note: This post comes courtesy of Eric Snider and The Daily Loaf.

If ever there was a game that underscores the importance of turnovers, it was the Bucs’ win over the Saints. The Saints offense outgained the Bucs 332-254. Saints QB Drew Brees looked imposing most of the game, going 25-47 for 296 yards and two touchdowns. But Brees three three interceptions, all of them at crucial points in the second half (including one that set up the winning Bucs field goal, and another that ended the Saints’ comeback chance).

By contrast, Bucs QB Jeff Garcia was a fairly pedestrian 9 for 23 for 119 yards and one touchdown. He did not, however, throw an interception. (Garcia helped his cause immensely by rushing seven times for 42 yards, including a couple of key runs.) The Bucs only turnover was an early fumble by WR Michael Clayton, who was stripped in the first quarter. The Saints couldn’t turn it into points, though, giving the ball back after a 4th down play.

Ronde Barber continued his redemption effort with another good game, including a tipped ball that led to a key interception by Cato June. Barber was called for holding on Jeremy Shockey, which nullified a Bucs interception. The play looked to me, and I’m assuming pretty much everyone who calls themselves a Bucs fan, that Barber merely held his ground and Shockey ran into him.

A top candidate for Bucs game MVP was Saints RB Reggie Bush. He dropped several passes and, on punt returns, did his Dexter Jackson act by running backwards and sideways (and losing a ton of yardage).

Bucs returner Clifton Smith had another really good day running straight ahead, and — yeah! — he didn’t fumble.

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P. Hilton sued for shutting the flip up. Isn’t that a sign of the apocalypse? All of that?

P. Diddy should be sued for not shutting the flip up.

Aw, we heart you, comeback Britz: You can take the country out of the girl, but…

Elvis and Priscilla Barbie dolls. They’re right about the plastic Priscilla thing, just waaaaay early. (Now where’s our matching Graceland Barbie Dreamhouse?)

Uncle Joey finally talks about that song. You oughta know what we’re talking about.

The Chupacabra does exist, and this proves it. Really?

Bigfoot, too, though alive? Not so much.

Another broken record for Phelps, another broken ratings record for NBC.

“John Edwards in a onesie.” Gadzooks.

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Comedian Dane Cook gives a blow-by-blow commentary on the poster for his new movie. Here’s the thing. He’s funny. Kind of.

The latest Olympic scandal: Lip synching kiddies!

This just in[visible]: Super awesome cloak coming soon.

Ben Stiller responds to Tropic Thunder controversy. Yeah, we’re still seeing it, too.

Forbes ranks the top-earning celeb chefs: Rachael Ray prevails, our beloved Bourdain barely placed with a paltry $1.5 million.

In other gourmet news, Tommy Boy Cruise lands his latest role. Speaking of Senor Crazypants™…

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Happy Saturday, all. A couple of entertainment options and what not for your weekend…

Mitch Clark Band CD Release Party
Cork’s Cigar Bar, 425 Old Main St. (12th St. W.), Bradenton, 744-2589
Sat., Aug. 2, 9 p.m.-1 a.m.

Clark drops his live disc, a mix of originals and covers engineered/produced by resident Sarasota music guru Bud Snyder (Allman Brothers, Gov’t Mule).

Kayaking with the American Littoral Society, Southeast Region
Little Sarasota Bay to Palmer Point Beach, 966-7308
Sun., Aug. 3, 8:30-11:30 a.m.

All equipment and a short training session will be provided for this ALS-presented trip, with John Sarkozy. Cost is $20 for ALS members, $25 nonmembers. Call for deets.

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The reviews are in: Yo Mummy’s so stupid…

The lawsuit’s in: Yo Mini-Me’s so sensitive…

Speaking of which, throw us a frickin’ bone: The Love Guru sucked, but do we really have to go back to this?

Well, he already kinda sorta not so much looks like a Ramone…

This is a bit excessive, especially since Basic Instinct 2 didn’t exactly roll in the dough.

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With Bennigans gone, here’s a real bombshell.

“My genes made me not do it, wah wah wah!” Another excuse to not get off your lazy ass.

Forthwith, ergo, and such as. Defamer sentences George Lucas.

Where have all the trainwrecks gone? Don’t you fret, paparazzi skeezeballs, there’s always Winehouse (though, with airline prices these days…)

Is nothing sacred? Dunkin’ Donuts goes healthy.

We repeat: Is nothing sacred?

Fatness starts young. And with Pop Tarts. So, we’ll just market them to adults. Genius!

Starbucks going under Down Under. (We’d say “g’day, mate,” but… ooooh.)

We really don’t know what to make of this, save one word: Goot! Goot! Goot!

Today in Biting the Hand. Biting. The Hand.

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You know the economy’s in dire straits when the porn biz is a hurtin’.

Catfight! Catfight!

This just in: More time suckage to be had — TiVo to stream YouTube videos.

Defamer’s headline department scores another audible laugh.

A couple of weeks ago, my Morning After column bitched to this effect. Thank you, Gawker.

If you’ll excuse us, we couldn’t finish reading this before getting through our ice cold PBR.

Clueless, Mean Girls and Pretty In Pink to get the videogame treatment. Sha! As if!

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