Five people, places and things we really ain’t digging today.

• Mark Sanford. Again. And it seems like 50 percent of the voters in South Carolina agree with me.

• Time Warner Cable. They are reportedly testing “Internet TV,” which — according to the Charlotte Business Journal — “would involve making television shows available via the Internet.” Hate to rain on the company’s parade, but I liked this idea better when it was called Hulu.com.

• Tropical Storm Danny.

• Health care town hall meetings. Again. (A local reporter recently attended one and wrote about his experience.)

• Folks who are against same-sex adoption.

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Five people, places and things we really ain’t digging today.

• The late Ryan Jenkins. Sadly, his alleged murder scandal was the most interesting thing to come out out of that dumb-ass reality show Megan Wants a Millionaire.

• People who hate on street food. Hey, I liked the stuff before it got all gourmet and stuff. Taco carts rock.

• The latest unemployment figures.

• Anyone who compares Obama to Hitler.

• The fact that N.C. construction jobs are down 18 percent.

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Five people, places and things we really ain’t digging today.

• Dubai — for daring to fuck up production of the Sex and the City movie sequel. Bastards.

• The earnings dip at Lowe’s — where is the light at the end of this tunnel?

• The U.S. Postal Service.

• Debt counseling groups that charge upfront fees

• Health insurance companies.

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Five people, places and things we really ain’t digging today.

• Bank of America … well just the all the crap surrounding the bank these days. It’s never good to have Charlotte’s biggest industry in the shitter.

• People who think that Canada’s health care system sucks. Don’t believe the hype about long lines and such — folks in that country are doing a lot better than us.

• Speaking of health care, you know who’s really wack about now? Those blithering idiots who disrupt town hall meetings about health care. Yeah, that’s a great way to help the dialogue in this country.

• The dude who was sending death threats to Beyoncé. Man, you better leave my future ex-wife alone!

• More swine flu? Great. Fucking great.

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Five people, places and things we really ain’t digging today.

• People who hoped Sonia Sotomayor wouldn’t get confirmed. Hey, dry those tears haters. (Photo courtesy of Newscom)

• John Edwards’ campaign payoff probe.

• Folks who think “Cash for Clunkers” is a bad idea.

• Ann Coulter — well for being Ann Coulter … and — according to PoliticsDaily.com — for getting ready to deliver a speech tonight titled “Taking Down Liberalism With Beauty and Brains.” My question: What beauty and what brains?

• This morning’s deadly hit-and-run in Catawba County.

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Five people, places and things we really ain’t digging today.

• Whoever doesn’t think that the poster of Obama (above) circulating around the Web is racist. It might be a riff on the Joker, but it’s also obviously meant to be a reverse “blackface.”

• Dudes who assault sex workers from Craigslist.

• Politicians who choose not to confirm Judge Sonia Sotomayor as a Supreme Court Justice because she’s supposedly a racist or an “activist judge.” Her judicial record suggests she’s a moderate if anything.

• The fact that blood in N.C. is drying up.

• The sick nut who’s stalking Miley Cyrus.

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Five people, places and things we really ain’t digging today.

• Lou Dobbs! I’ve had problems with this guy for his ongoing hard-on regarding so-called illegal immigrants. He carries on about this shit almost every night on his crappy CNN show. Now, the guy has crawled into bed with those nutty “birther” jack-wads. What’s next — U.F.O.’s?

• Mark Sanford. He’s coming back to South Carolina after a two-week vacation. Wait. WTF? A two-week vacation?! Could the folks in S.C. just fire this a$$hole already?!

• The run on guns. Folks in Mecklenburg County (and spots around the country) are apparently buying guns and bullets like crazy — partly, it seems, because they are afraid that Obama will take their guns … even though he never said he would. Actually, when he was running for office, he placed ads on TV saying he would not take away gun rights. But, hey, please don’t shoot me. I love gus.

• Paula Abdul. What the hell is she thinking leaving American Idol. Like she has a lot of options. I just hope she doesn’t start singing again. Dancing, yes. Singing? No.

• Old fashioned record labels. They’re about as dead as … uh … print newspapers!

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Five people, places and things we really ain’t digging today.

• The whole battle over Michael Jackson’s kids and his estate. I mean, I knew it was going to happen, but damn — way to desecrate the man’s memory.

• The recent court victory for the Alcoa corporation. All evidence suggests that the company operating dams on the Yadkin River is actually bad for the river. And that’s bad for everybody.

• MIchelle Malkin. She’s generally wack, but her recent tirade against the unemployed showed the true depths of her ignorance. Follow this link — she’s the third video on the page. You’ve been warned.

• Another high-speed chase. At least nobody got killed this time.

• The Millionaires. No not the one’s with money, but this up-and-coming trio of female rappers. Music Editor Jeff Hahne hipped me to them, and it’s safe to say that they are the worst rappers ever. I mean, they are so bad, they’re almost good. See for yourself:

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Five people, places and things we really ain’t digging today.

• Permit problems at EpiCentre. No new tenants can move in? That sucks.

• Possible job losses that may come if the proposed state budget is passed.

• The assholes in Maine who want to overturn gay marriage — which was recently legalized in the state. It kills me when idiots say that gay people getting married will destroy the institution of marriage. Have they seen the divorce rate lately? It looks like the institution is pretty fucked right now.

• The dumb-fuck with the anti-Obama kiosk at Concord Mills. Hey, I wouldn’t mind if the moron set up shop in gas station parking lot — right next to the guy with Tupac posters and sweat socks.

• TMZ. The tabloid Web site recently reported on the Jackson family eating at an Italian restaurant. Uh … who gives the shit?

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Five people, places and things we really ain’t digging today.

• What’s about to happen to these poor seals

• Male hookers

• This Ford Explorer

• No home improvement in Iran

• People always hating on Al Sharpton

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