I would like to take the time this week to talk to you, Mr. and Ms. Party goer…

In the past couple of weeks, I’ve had you come up to the dj booth and make requests, which, every now and then is ok. However, if I’m playing, lets say, an old-school hip-hop party, please don’t come to the booth and ask me to play Gucci Mane or Black Eyed Peas. If I’m playing a House night, do not take the time to come to the booth and ask me for “The Cupid Shuffle.” Especially in a place that is not known for that type of music.

I remember one of my first gigs. It was kind of slow, but I was still doing my thing, keeping the mood right. I was spinning house music, in a club that’s known for house music, and I had a chick walk over to the booth. She was nice and cordial, so I returned her vibes when I spoke. After we exchanged greetings, her true inner demon came out, “Umm….are you gonna play this techno shit all night?”

‘scuse me honey…but uhh… this aint techno, this is house.

“Well, whatever….are you gonna play this all night?”

Yes ma’am! Glad you asked. See, this is a House music club and house music is encouraged here.

“Well, can you play something that we know from the radio….”

…so I start to think about the house versions of radio songs that I have. Like the club versions of John Legend songs and Fantasia songs and stuff, but then she opened her mouth and finished her sentence: “…like Peety Pablo”

I died laughing… right in her face… right along with the bartender.

“Sweetie,” the bartender said “we don’t play that kind of music in here… Sorry.”

See, I thought that was funny the first 200 times it happened. Now, it just pisses me off. Would you go into Red Lobster and ask for a McFlurry? Understand your surroundings, your environment, and respect the job the dj is doing before making that stupid request.

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WHY??? At some point in your life you have to ask yourself this question: Why am I doing this?

Especially when the work you put into it and the hours you dedicate don’t equal out to the money you get. Yes, a lot of DJs don’t mind not getting paid for standing on their feet for four, five or even six hours at a time, and being responsible for the mood of the room ain’t no big thang to them.

But when it is, the ones that don’t mind “playing to get their name out” can spoil the game for everyone else. The adage “you get what you pay for” not only applies to strip clubs, but for DJ services as well.

Yes, I occasionally take a free gig, but it’s usually for a friend who already respects what I do. But for some clubs to never offer any type of monetary compensation to the person keeping people entertained and your bar full, well, that’s just bullshit.

And no, bar tabs don’t cut it my friend — who’s really gonna drink 100/200 dollars of alcohol and still be able to do their jobs correctly? Do you pay your bartenders in drinks as well? Do you hand Duke Power a 12 pack every month?

A DJ’s fees should be a part of your monthly overhead. Period. As should promotions. A DJ having to promote his own night? Again, I gotta call bullshit. Why would you, the owner, manager not want your club to be successful in its own right? Why would you make that the responsibility of the DJ? Their job is to keep asses moving, not to flood Facebook inboxes. Understand what it is that you have in a (good) DJ, don’t expect him/her to do work that should be yours.

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I recently drove to Raleigh to dj at a wedding reception, right? Easy money, because the company I work for requires that the bride and groom go through and pretty much hand pick all the songs they want played. They tell us what song they want for the first dance, the father/daughter dance… yadda,yadda,yadda.

Well, this bride and groom put down that they didn’t want any formalities… no song for their first dance, there would be no garter toss… just wanted me to show up and start playing.

Their music of choice was… interesting. Except for an Aaliyah cut here, and a Missy or LL cut there, it was all techno/trance/high energy stuff, at around 137-145 beats per minute.

I’m naturally a house music dj (I normally play around 126-130 bpms), but I figured this would be a fun challenge. Once the ceremony was over and they walked over to eat, I started off with some of the slower stuff on her list. That lasted about 20 minutes.
“Did you get my list?”
Yeah, I got it. I’m playing stuff off of it now.
“Well, can you get to the more upbeat stuff?
Now? You mean you want everybody to eat to techno and trance?
“Yeah… please”

Not sure just what she had in mind, but DJ Tiesto and meatballs don’t go together (Well, I guess it depends on where you are….) But as soon as the first “boom-boom-boom-boom” hit, some people were looking around… unsure of just where they were.

I kept it there, tried to make it interesting by blending everything on the list at the same BPM, even teching-out “Rock the Casbah” to keep it right where she wanted it. It was like Ibiza in Raleigh, but of course…

“Hey, we wanna do a father daughter dance… do you have….”
No, no, no. I was given this list to play from and theres nothing slow on here.
“Do you have this, do you have this, do you have __________”

We improvise and it worked out, but then the floodgates opened and I had to be a dick to a few people, and remind them that “I was given a list to play from…”

All in all, it was a good time. The bride and groom make a good couple, and everybody I ran into were just the nicest people you ever wanted to meet… however, I write this tale with a word of caution to djs, especially wedding djs everywhere.

Like they told you in the boy scouts… always be prepared.

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I cut my teeth DJing on an online reggae radio station. Imagine being a house music DJ on a reggae station… wooooo.

Anyway, the guy who owns the station is cool with the owners of a local reggae club, so we would go in on Friday nights (early of course) and play house, hip-hop, old school r&b — whatever we wanted. We’d have a few of our friends show up … not too many, but it was cool. It was just good to hear our music over the loud-ass speakers; that was good enough for us.

So, I showed up one night, and there were more cars than usual in the parking lot, so I’m thinking “Hot damn … we got a crowd tonight!!” Well, we had a crowd alright — a crowd of kids, 7 to 14 years old. “Ay!!! WTF these kids doing in here man?” Come to find out it was a birthday party. What parent rents a nightclub for their kid’s birthday party?

Anyway, the sight of those kids immediately put a monkey in my wrench — because now I’m not sure what to play. I was in a hip-hop mood and, not that I play Willie D or Ice Mike or anything, but I just didn’t think these kids would be entertained by Mos Def and MF DOOM. So, I put on some Outkast (What kid didn’t love “Hey Ya”?) to try and appease the kids, when I see a woman approaching the booth with a CD. “Here, can you play this?” Ahite….whatever.

Before I leave the booth, I throw on Akinyele’s “Kcuf me For Free” and head to the patio, ready to leave. About 20 minutes later, one of the guys that works at the club came and got me, and told me to go back on.

So, I grab the Mos Def file and start to play, when I get approached again. “Do you have a Happy Birthday song?” Yep… sure do. So, I reach for the black birthday favorite — Stevie Wonder’s “Happy Birthday” and start to play it. I get approached AGAIN “Do you have the Luke version?” HENH? Uhh … yeah, I do, but its not the clean version. “Oh, that’s alright, just go ahead and play it” (And this is the mother asking me to play it).

As I mentally start to make my slow walk to hell (there has to be an extra hot corner in hell for a DJ who plays Luke at a 14-year-old’s birthday party) I throw it on, and the place EXPLODED! “Do you have anymore stuff like this?” YIKES!

For the rest of the night (until the club opened for real), there were 13-year-old girls grinding on the mirror to “Shake That Ass Bitch” and “Big Booty Hoes.” The sad part is their mothers were right there with them … singing all the words. Yeah, that’s what you want to teach your daughters — how to pick up a dollar bill with your butt cheeks

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One of the hardest things for a dj to do is to get into a club. Well, that’s the second hardest. THE hardest thing to do is to get into a club and get paid.

You’d think that with all of the “demo” cds you’ve made, all of the bar owners you’ve befriended and bar sluts you’ve slept with, setting up a residency or even a one-night gig would be a shoe-in, right? WRONG. It has little to do with skill and often times more to do with politics, and at the center of that political storm is… other djs.

You may be cool with half of the djs in Charlotte, but if they, in some way, form or fashion, feel threatened by you, for any reason, they’ll throw you under a flight case every chance they get. And for what? To keep getting that guaranteed $200-300 bucks every other week, or in some cases once a month? FOH with that.

This city is too small for division between djs. Used to be, cats that had residencies would roll with other djs, be they known or unknown. And if they were unknown, they’d look out and big up the unknown djs until they got a shot.

Nowadays? It’s the exact opposite. Any chance to throw salt on another dj is all-too-quickly taken. No one takes the “live and let live” approach anymore.

Competition is created when, in a city this small, theres no room for that. There’s strength in numbers and cats working together can only strengthen our growing local music scene.

Take a look at other cities, where different djs getting together is an annual thing. But here? Please… I mean, there are rumblings that we will have one or two this summer, but who knows.

For once, can everybody put their egos aside and work together to grow the Queen City’s scene? Regularly co-sign for other guys, even if they don’t necessarily play what you like… bad-mouthing will only reflect badly on you.

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Its hard out here for a pimp, but even harder for djs. Especially if said dj has a wife and kids at home. One of the most important things a dj HAS to do (no exception) is make sure his face is seen as much as possible. Especially if his name doesn’t ring out like a Smitty (he can cash a check with just Smitty on it) or Andy Kastanas.

So, you show your face in every club/lounge/bar that your target audience hangs at, but in doing that, you start to neglect things at home. You have to make up your mind quickly as to what level of dj you want to be? Do you want to be the next headliner at Ibiza? Or do you just want to be the next local hero, making enough to justify being out 4 nights a week?

With most of us, that desire to see people sweating to your beat, and making those “daaaaaaamn!!” faces when you put on something dope that they havent heard before, or seeing their minds walk down memory lane just by looking in their eyes when you drop that song they haven’t heard in years is almost worth it.

Djing is disease, and sweating for the people is the only cure. The key is finding an understanding mate who enjoys the music just as much as you, and finding that balance between home and HOM (I know they’re no longer with us, but that was too perfect..lol).

Never forget who really has your back when you’re back behind the booth. Yeah, those couple of hundred moving bodies is under your spell for five hours, but when the music stops, who’s the one that’ll let you sleep a little later the next day? Who’s the one that puts up with you blowing the budget on new equipment and new music? Show appreciation for your number one fan, and never take them for granted.

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