Daily Loaf

At some point in your life, in one way or another, you’ve come across a comic book.

You read them when you were younger; you made fun of someone for reading them when you were younger. (Or last week.) You saw Spider-Man 3 on its opening weekend; someone gave you their copy of Spider-Man 3 for your birthday.

You decided to pass on playing Wolverine in the first X-Men movie; you’re a household name because you played Wolverine in the first X-Men movie, the second, the third and eventually your own spin-off. (Or maybe that’s only if you’re Dougray Scott – hope Mission Impossible II was worth it. Hugh Jackman thought so.)

You watched Batman with bated breath; you watched Batman and Robin with a weak gag reflex.

Maybe you dated someone who read them, bought one as a gag gift, passed that guy with the unfortunate haircut looking at them at Borders, or just liked Batman: The Animated Series.

Or you just can’t log on to read your Daily Loaf without some guy tricking you into reading about them with pictures of Ryan Reynolds’ abs or Jennifer Aniston.

Whatever the case, comics are a part of your life — and it’s time for you to come to terms with the Top 10 reasons you should read comic books:

10. EVERYONE SHOULD
KNOW HEROES IS A RIP-OFF

It’s been said that there are no more original ideas. That everything’s been done. Now, I’m certainly not suggesting that Marvel Comics — or DC — invented the idea of the superhero. The ideology surrounding them existed before Joan Rivers was in diapers. But in terms of modern pop culture, well, Marvel and DC practically did invent the superhero. They certainly made them relevant.

If you’re going to do something that’s been done, do it better. Google Days of Future Past or watch an X-Men movie: Hugh Jackman and Hayden Panettiere, Wolverine and Claire, respectively, share more in common than an eight-head.

I’m not saying Heroes is a bad show. It isn’t. I’ve seen it, though like much of America, I’m not watching it now.  Humans discovering they have superhuman abilities, dealing with a government that hates and fears them, all while trying to save the world — it’s a great concept. Potential cures, racing through time and dealing with horrible futures — it’s compelling. When it’s called X-Men.

On a side note, NBC: The Incredibles did the same thing… but it was incredible. And Disney bought Marvel, so watch out.  Read the rest of this entry »

Not your average movie about a hot cheerleader and her nerdy best friend, Jennifer’s Body hit theaters last week. Staring Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried, Jennifer’s Body tells the story of a popular girl who is slighty more evil than the teenage girls of today’s society.

Jennifer’s Body takes place in Devil’s Kettle, a middle-of-nowhere small town where everyone knows everyone. Eager to up her slut status, Jennifer Check (Megan Fox) wants to see (and presumably, sleep with) a band playing at a local bar. She brings along her best friend Anita “Needy” Lesnicky (Amanda Seyfriend). After flirting with the “salty” lead singer Nikolai Wolf (Adam Brody aka Seth Cohen from the O.C.!), Jennifer ends up getting herself kidnapped and sacrificed to the devil. To keep herself hot and desirable, Jennifer needs to eat human flesh. She prefers boys but later tells her best friend that she “goes both ways.” It’s now up to Needy to save the day and her boyfriend Chip’s life.

Written by Diablo Cody, Jennifer’s Body is full of quirky one liners and made up words much like those that were enjoyed by all in her 2007 flick,  Juno. Read the rest of this entry »

A weekly bulletin about who’s playing on late night TV; set your TIVOs or DVRs if you’ve got an early bedtime. See a day missing? No musical guest that night…

The Jay Leno Show, NBC
Thursday, September 24: Smokey Robinson with Joss Stone (They’ll likely perform the duet, “You’re the One for Me,” from Robinson’s new LP, Time Flies When You’re Having Fun.)

The Late Show with David Letterman, CBS
Wednesday, September 23: Mary J. Blige
Thursday, September 24: Snow Patrol
Friday, September 25: LL Cool J

The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien, NBC
Monday, September 21: Lynyrd Skynyrd
Tuesday, September 22: Monsters of Folk (the new project featuring M. Ward, Jim James, Mike Mogis and Conor Oberst; pictured, photo by Jenniver Tzar)
Wednesday, September 23: Wynonna
Thursday, September 24: India.Arie
Friday, September 25: Rodrigo y Gabriela Read the rest of this entry »

*Kate Gosselin has been offered $400,000 to pose for Playboy. I propose that Hugh take that money and offer it to Jon Gosselin to never speak in public ever again. I think it is time that Playboy does something good for the world and this is a win-win…because no one wants to see a mother of eight’s vajayjay — no one.

*Remember that neoprene number Ra’mon won with on Project Runway a couple weeks ago? (If not, you can check it out here.) According to Tim Gunn, who never lies or is wrong about anything ever so I totally believe him, the dress was dyed in the toilet at FIDM. Here is my question…is that dye or 2000 Flushes? I won’t judge but really, it’s a legit question.

*Megan Fox has opened her mouth again. Calling Michael Bay, the mastermind behind such films as The Rock, Armageddon and apparently Playboy Video Centerfold: Kerri Kendall (who knew?!), “Hitler” and a “nightmare.” His revenge? Read the rest of this entry »

With the Loafies on Tuesday, I am getting ready for a little awards show action. What better way to prepare for my acceptance speech (I’m winning a Loafie for something, right?) than to watch the MTV VMAs?

My favorite part of any awards show is the red carpet, generally…but this is the VMAs so I know the best is yet to come, so briefly, here are my thoughts on the red carpet arrivals:
• Lady Gaga is Phantoming it up in that mask. And I have to say I feel that Kermit has actually downgraded from Miss Piggy, as we are not certain that Gaga ( right) is technically a Lady.

• Shakira and Pink are in the same dress. This is a disaster, seriously, whose dress is that? Who let that happen? Some poor assistant at a New York fashion house is about to join the unemployment line.

• Alicia Keys looks adorable!  I am in love with that dress. That woman is the picture of sophistication lately.

• Now, onto the show where we will discuss Kanye’s diss, Gaga’s bleeding, Pink’s Boob and more…. Read the rest of this entry »

Who could forget Megan Fox’s 37-episode tenure opposite Kelly Ripa in Hope & Faith? Or her portrayal of a rich teenager in 2004’s Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen?

Everyone.

But ever since Michael Bay and Hollywood transformed the actress in 2007, reassembling her from scraps of Angelina Jolie and the magnetism of Marilyn Monroe, the actress has been everywhere.

While she’s only completed a handful of films since Transformers, including its mediocre 2009 sequel, she’s had magazine covers, spotlights, interviews, tabloid scrutinies, top Google searches and a place in the hearts or on the dartboard of your boyfriend or girlfriend.

She’s beautiful, fun to watch, loves comic books (she told GQ that “[comic book fans are] not nerds. They’re just passionate”) and she has the mouth of a sailor. (”Fuck Disney,” she offered in the same interview, immediately lamenting that “that was probably a bad move, they own everything.”) As you can see, she’s also a prophet. Megan Fox, clearly, is in the business of fulfilling fantasies.

Until now, however, I’d argue that few of her own fantasies have been fulfilled. (She is engaged to Brian Austin Green, after all. Kidding… I love you, David!) Because now… now, Megan Fox has been a centerfold. Read the rest of this entry »

The number of male celebrities who’ve portrayed comic book characters on film is impressive, but the list of actresses to translate the women of comics for the big screen definitely, well, racks up.

Halle Berry brought a loosely adapted Catwoman to the silver screen, though more acclaimed was her version of element- and director-controlling Storm in the three X-Men films. (Incidentally, I hear Bryan Singer still cries himself to sleep after years of receiving threatening letters from her Oscar.)

Famke Janssen fired up the screen as Jean Grey in the same amount of films, coupled with the likes of hotter-than-ever Anna Paquin and Rebecca Romjin as Rogue and Mystique, respectively.

Michelle Pfeiffer’s take on Catwoman in Batman Returns is as timeless as she is, Angelina Jolie was Wanted, and Gwyneth Paltrow Peppered up Iron Man as a comic character with the ultimate weapon: heart.

Iron Man 2 will see Scarlet Johansson as spy extraordinare Black Widow, Natalie Portman has joined the ranks of Thor, and outspoken comics fan Megan Fox is rumored to have signed on to play a different comic heroine every day. One thing is certain: the list of beautiful actresses to portray comicdom’s hottest women will continue to expand faster than Kirstie Alley’s waistline.

You’ve seen the men, so without further ado — take a look at mainstream comics Top 10 Hottest Women: Read the rest of this entry »

With the loud, dumb and often-disappointing summer movie season behind us, I go into fall with some optimism. There’s a good amount of work by reliable writers and filmmakers, which gives the season a lot of potential. And it’s our first bombardment of Oscar Bait, with many of the titles here angling for awards come the end of the year.

Read the rest of this entry »

Happy “Avatar Day” everyone, and welcome to another installment of Kevin’s Korner, where I, Kevin, give you more movie news than you could shake a wet noodle at — along with some box office info, a DVD release list, and, of course, some Avatar Images and the trailer itself. So, grab a drink and celebrate Friday, the day the world sees what James Cameron has been doing for the last 10 years.

Read the rest of this entry »

Happy Friday, everyone, and welcome to another edition of Kevin’s Korner, the column that gives you all the movie news you need — plus some you never knew you wanted. This week, we have Lindsay Lohan casting rumors, TV news, a hilarious Seth Rogen rejection video, the can’t-miss trailer of the week and much more.

So please check it out and enjoy!

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I couldn’t help but comment on the Comic Con fan who made a video of himself asking St. Petersburg’s own Megan Fox if she’d like to do a celebrity sex tape with him.  That took balls.  I’d have liked to see a better picture of him.  I mean, if he was cute, why the hell not?  Oh yeah, not everyone can do the fuck buddy thing.  I forget that I have a knack for running through men like water runs through faucets.

(video after the break)

Read the rest of this entry »

Each July in San Diego, Christmas comes early for nerds and movie lovers alike in the form of Comic-Con, the nation’s largest comic/movie/game/geek convention.  While CL’s Kevin Hopp covered the movie news that his this weekend, I’ll be covering what many of the comic fans like me truly went to see: the costumed women of Comic-Con.

Read the rest of this entry »

For news and reviews of all the summer’s biggest movies, check out CL’s Movies & Television site.

The trailer everyone has been waiting for has hit the Internet. By now, you’ve seen the pictures of Megan Fox sans apparel on the set of Jennifer’s Body, and heard about the movie’s nude scenes. From the looks of the just-released Red Band trailer, the movie may actually turn out to be more than just one of those skin flicks you fast-forward to the good parts.

The plot seems simple enough: “A newly possessed cheerleader turns into a killer who specializes in offing her male classmates. Can her best friend put an end to the horror? ” The script, written by Juno scribe Diablo Cody, looks to be entertaining. Overall, I expect this to be a fun slasher flick with some edgy writing and some serious eye candy … consider me in!

Check out the trailer (NSFW) after the jump!

Read the rest of this entry »

[Ed. Note: We've got plenty of Transformers stuff going on on Daily Loaf. In addition to my review of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, we've got more posts about Megan Fox than you can shake your wank at. Enjoy.]

My worst fears have come to pass. The God-awful Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen has opened with a huge $16 million take from Tuesday night’s midnight screenings. That’s not a record-breaker for a midnight opening, as The Dark Knight cleared $18 million in its late-night bow, but TDK debuted on a weekend-kickoff Friday and not a lame, non-holiday hump day. The $55 million the film grossed on Wednesday is a new high for an opening on that day of the week, besting Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, which grossed $44 million on a Wednesday way back in 2007. The conventional wisdom has the film grossing at least $160 million over the five-day weekend. (The news isn’t all bad: Director Michael Bay has said he won’t make a third Transformers film. Woo hoo!)

What a crock of shit! This would be a national embarrassment, were it not for the fact that the movie is already doing huge business overseas as well. I guess that makes this an embarrassment for the entire human race. In case you’re on the fence about hitting the multiplex this weekend, here’s a sampling of the critical reaction to Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen:

Read the rest of this entry »

You know my mind got to thinking the other day when the heavens opened and Emmalee posted those lovely topless pictures of Megan Fox on the set of her new flick. We certainly are a society transfixed on celebrities, aren’t we? I can hear my boy, Hopp, now: “I’d let her do me.”  Hell wouldn’t we all?

After a few steamy minutes of uh, deep thinking something else came running into my frontal lobe: The Celebrity 5.  You know, that little list you have in your head (or printed and laminated) of the 5 celebrities you’d be free to have sex with should a miracle transpire that put you into a situation to do so?  It’s kind of silly, but we love movie stars and live for putting things into list form.
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Dream Momma,

My boyfriend has a reocurring dream of being a successful lawyer, married to Megan Fox, living in a nice home with children. He wakes up from this dream and his reality seems like a nightmare. (he is 35 unemployed and is back living with his parents).  I try to be supportive but I’m hurt when he tells me he’s dreaming of Megan Fox.

Dear Dreamer, one time removed.  I guess hurt could be the word that works but I’ll tell you girlfriend, your problems are far greater than him dreaming of Megan Fox. You don’t say how old you are and since he’s 35 I’m guessing you’re no teenage.  Why are you thinking like one?

Now here’s the juice: Read the rest of this entry »

This weekend, Hollywood will ask moviegoers to spend their disposable income on the latest whiz-bang summer blockbuster, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. It’s a given that the movie will own the top spot at the box office (early tracking indicates huge fan interest), but does it have to be a record-breaking opening weekend? Ladies and gentlemen, I implore you: DO NOT GO SEE THIS MOVIE! It’s not too late! You don’t have to line up with the lemmings. If you want to see a movie, check out Away We Go, which gets its Bay area premiere this weekend.

But you’re not going to heed my advice. Maybe you liked the first movie. Maybe you’ve got a thing for giant robots or Megan Fox. Or both. In that case, please read on: Read the rest of this entry »

[Ed. Note: Click here for a review of Megan Fox strutting her stuff in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.]

Megan Fox is filming the new horror flick Jennifer’s Body about a teenage cheerleader who becomes possessed and kills all the small-town boys one by one. Rumors have floated around about semi-nude scenes with the actress.

Read more about the movie here.

Topless photos of Fox were recently leaked and sources say she is not planning on taking legal action.

Photos below the jump [NSFW]:

Read the rest of this entry »

Note: This is our first Tournament of Summer Movie Blockbuster. In case you missed it, here’s the skinny on the tourney and a full list of competing films. And for news and reviews of this summer’s blockbusters, be sure and check CL’s Movies & TV site.

In one of the most unsurprising poll results of all time, Star Wars managed to trounce Mission:Impossible 2 in Monday’s poll. It was so bad for T-Cruise that M:I 2 didn’t even get a vote. Not one! Today, it’s #1 seed E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial vs. dark horse #8 Transformers.

Details on the films and your chance to vote are after the break.

Read the rest of this entry »

I was at a loss for this week’s top 10 list.  A friend of mine suggested a ‘top 10 top 10 lists.’   My wife suggested ‘top 10 local celebrities I’d fuck’.  I liked that idea, but could only think of three locals I’d do (see 1-3 on my list).  With that in mind, I drank several beers and added 7 that are more famous (pardon any typos!!!QW$#$%).

So here it is….

10. Cindy Crawford – In college, there was no other I’d rather smother.

9. Jennifer Lopez – Everyone remembers the dress.  Where’s a sex-tape when you need one? Read the rest of this entry »

Eat me, baby! Megan Fox to star as a flesh-munching cheerleader in Diablo Cody’s Jennifer’s Body. Which is great news, because that means I get to post a gratuitous pic of Megan Fox. (For the last time, she’s the hot girl from Transformers.)

Four more critics’ picks: Slumdog Millionaire (now playing in the Tampa Bay area) tops two more best-of lists (including Florida), while The Dark Knight and Frost/Nixon each get the number one spot by other tastemakers.

Tim-mah! Tim Robbins reported to play Iron Man’s dad. Discuss.

Hot stuff: David Fincher is cooking up something with Keanu Reeves. Seriously, the title is Chef.

Dredd-ful: A new Judge Dredd film is on the way. I wish I were kidding.

The Final Frontier: Majel Barrett-Roddenberry passes away at 76.

A hot chick totally wants to do me, and I’ve got an angel of a wife at home – score! Take one part Fatal Attraction, one part The Temp, add the ending of Pacific Heights, mix with a dash of Jungle Fever and voila! – Obsessed, yet another brain-dead male fantasy film masquerading as a lurid thriller.

Maybe it’s the beautiful weather. Or that, even in these trying times, I’m inclined to see the glass as half-full rather than half-empty. Whatever it is, I just can’t bring myself to be cranky today. Sarah Palin could walk in the office right now and I’d probably give her a wink and a hug and tell her to keep her formidable chin up. So rather than pick nits and force out an insincerely cranky post, here are a few reasons why I’m in such a good mood today:

I had a blueberry bagel this morning. Blueberries on their own are quite good. Mix them in bagel batter, and they’re fabulous! (So long as you cook the batter).

How can I be cranky when Megan's around?

Megan Fox. Just looking at her makes me happy. Really happy. I mean, really happy.

The slumping economy. Sure, the news is all bad right now, but has there ever been a better time to buy?

Carbon emissions don't matter when you've got one of these on your car.

A Hello Kitty exhaust pipe. How can you look at this and not feel all warm inside? It could be installed on the back of a Hummer and I’d still get all doe-eyed and want to kiss the driver on the lips.

Wade Tatangelo getting torn a new one in the comments section of his latest Bar Tab. Which is good because this will help Wade grow as a writer (if not in physical stature).

It’s Friday. And that means Friday Dance Party. Which I’ve taken great care in assembling to make my co-workers as cheerful as I am! I love you guys, you ROCK!

Have a great weekend everybody!