the 941

EIGHT BALL LOUNGE
The basics: 3527 Webber St., Sarasota, 922-8314 [map it]
Signature drink(s): Orange crush, Washington apple
Most friendliest bartender(s): Nancy

The Eight Ball Lounge lives up to its billiards billing: The meaty clunk of balls round objects striking other round objects clatters up and down the bar from the wide-open back area where accomplished players and their less-talented brethren rack ‘em up. Eight Ball’s other claim to fame is being the only bar in the fabled Beneva-Webber “four corners” with a full liquor license. The bar top itself is massive, a giant “U” that can accommodate a ton of drinkers: guys and gals cranking Billy Joel on the jukebox and complaining about how crappy the Rays are doing. All of which goes to say that you don’t need to be a pool shark to find yourself at the ol’ Eight Ball.

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Ed. note: This piece, by Andisheh Nouraee, will appear in next week’s issue of Creative Loafing.

Is oil or religion more to blame for Iran’s ills?

Relax.

I’m not gonna hate you for not hating the things I hate. But I want you to know, I hate oil.

Not all oil. Just some. I’m actually a big fan of canola oil. I’m not sure what a canola is, or how one extracts oil from a canola, but the hash browns my father fried for me in canola oil this morning tasted great. Thanks, dad. And thanks, canola, whatever/whoever you are.

I love grapeseed oil, too. It’s not an erotic love. I wouldn’t fly to Argentina to fondle a bottle of it. But it’s great for stir-frying vegetables. A fragrant extra virgin olive oil, balsamic vinegar and a drop of lime oil make a top-notch salad dressing. Lime oil classes up nearly anything.

And my favorite sport depends so heavily on the presence of oil for its spectator appeal, they put oil in the name. I’m referring, of course, to topless hot oil wrestling.

I’m cool with pretty much all oils, but I really hate petroleum.

I’m not gonna pretend it’s a rational hatred. Modern transportation, agriculture and manufacturing could not exist rely on oil. I move around, eat and buy stuff. I’m not a hypocrite. It’s an emotional hatred. Like many Americans of Iranian descent, I’ve spent a lot of time lately thinking about the turmoil in Iran.

When I try to figure out how the place got so screwed up, I keep going back to petroleum.

People in the West, and this includes pretty much every Iranian or Iranian-American I know, blames religious extremists for Iran’s misery. Even though I’m a theocracy-hating non-believer, I actually think Iran’s primary illness is that it has oil. In my opinion, the country’s evil theocrats are merely secondary symptom of the main sickness.

Remember, Iran’s theocrats came to power in a bloody revolution in 1979. What exactly were they revolting against? They were revolting against 80 years of colonial meddling inspired almost entirely by the West’s thirst for Iranian oil.

Read More “Your war questions answered: Is oil or religion more to blame for Iran’s ills?” »

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Ed. note: This piece, by Cecil Adams, will appear in next week’s issue of Creative Loafing.

Did soldiers really frag officers in Vietnam?

I recently read a speech by Noam Chomsky in which he says that during the Vietnam war “soldiers were fragging officers.” I, a man too young to have served in that conflict, have heard this before but thought it was just a rumor. Can you shed some light on this dark matter? —Tom, Chicago

I can, but frankly not much — and in my opinion, that’s a story all by itself.

Fragging — assaulting a superior officer using a fragmentation grenade or other explosive — was surprisingly common during the Vietnam War. The most reliable figure is 730 suspected incidents from 1969 through 1971, much higher than in U.S. wars before or since. Oddly, there’s no official count of fragging deaths; one unofficial source says 86, another 45.

Prior to Vietnam, assaults against U.S. military officers were rare. World War I saw one incident leading to court martial per 12,700 servicemen, a ratio said to have remained fairly steady during World War II and the Korean war. During the Vietnam conflict, the fragging rate rose from one incident per 3,300 servicemen in 1969 to a peak of one per 572 servicemen in 1971.

Few Vietnam fragging cases went to trial, so comparison with earlier wars is risky. Still, these are astonishing statistics, suggesting an army at the point of degenerating into a mutinous rabble. You’d think in the wake of Vietnam the U.S. military would have closely investigated fragging to avoid another brush with chaos. As far as I can tell, it didn’t. I had my assistant Una scour the databases and contact the U.S. Army Center of Military History and the Combat Studies Institute. Even with the help of these sources she was able to turn up only a few short papers on fragging. Sure, maybe the Pentagon has some classified research it isn’t telling anybody about. But here’s pretty much all that’s publicly known:

Read More “The Straight Dope answers your burning questions: Did soldiers really frag officers in Vietnam?” »

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Here’s a tip for anyone trying to determine the general quality level of a Chinese restaurant at first glance: The more Chinese characters in the menu descriptions, the better chance you have of receiving tasty traditional fare. At some places (like Bradenton’s Lucky Star, which I called the area’s best Chinese restaurant a few weeks ago), you might have to wade through a list of Westernized take-out classics before you find that handwritten list of goodies at the end. Heck, you may even have to ask for a totally separate special menu.

The new Gold Dynasty Chinese restaurant on the North Trail (which we were so excited about, we’ve already covered, twice) perfectly fits my simplified quality-analysis system. The early part of the menu is devoted to the kinds of mass-appeal dishes that most folks will be looking for. But work your way towards the end and you’ll find a sudden addition of Chinese names next to the English titles. And that’s where you should focus if you want to maximize your Gold Dynasty experience.

Of course, with a devotion to the more traditional and interesting dishes at the end of the menu comes better quality in the Americanized standards. Lo mein at Gold Dynasty is some of the best in town, the strands of brown noodles tender and rich without the clinging oily residue common to neighborhood joints. Seafood, in ubiquitous dishes like cashew shrimp or scallops in garlic sauce, are tender and nicely cooked, with a balance of flavor that tends to accentuate the ingredients instead of deadening the palate. If you want a bag of take-out for movie night, you won’t find a better place in Sarasota than Gold Dynasty.

But why limit yourself? On the mainstream side of the menu, the only seafood choices are shrimp and scallops. On the traditional side, you’ll find soft-shell crab and squid, flounder and shell-on shrimp. Sauces veer away from the usual brown and clear gravies in favor of intense fermented beans, or spicy salt, garlic and jalapeño sautées. Soups are big stews of seafood and fish belly, or pickles and pork instead of wonton and egg drop. There are whole chickens braised in soy sauce and barbecued ducks with crisp, golden-brown skin.

It’s Chinese Chinese food.

Read More “Restaurant review: Gold Dynasty raises the bar on Sarasota Chinese food” »

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Ed. note: This piece, by Chuck Shepherd, will appear in next week’s issue of Creative Loafing.

LEAD STORY: A 48-year-old immigrant from Malta regularly hangs out in various New York City bars, but always on the floor, so that he can enjoy his particular passion of being stepped on. “Georgio T.” told The New York Times in June that he has delighted in being stepped on since he was a kid. While one playmate “wanted to be the doctor, (another) wanted to be the carpenter … I would want to be the carpet.” Nowadays, he carries a custom-made rug he can affix to his back (and a sign, Step on Carpet) and may lie face-down for several hours if the bar is busy. He is also a regular at “high foot-traffic” fetish parties, where dozens of stompers (especially women in stilettos) can satisfy their own urges while gratifying Georgio.

Compelling Explanations: 1. Steven Gilmore Jr., 21, was arrested in Gainesville, Fla., after an aborted convenience store robbery in which he shot a clerk with a BB gun. Police said Gilmore confessed to the crime, explaining that he is an aspiring rap singer and felt he needed to commit a violent crime to gain “street cred” as a thug. 2. Marcella Rivera said the last she heard was that her soldier-husband, William Rivera, would try to reconcile with her and their five children when he got back from Iraq, but then her mother saw a TV program on returning soldiers that showed William being married to another woman. Marcella pressed a bigamy charge in Independence, Mo., but prosecutors dropped it in May after William convinced them that “post-traumatic stress disorder” suffered in Iraq had made him forget that he was married.

Read More “News of the Weird: Does this carpet make me look fat?” »

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Two months ago, we guided you through the first 60 days of the summer blockbuster season, with prescient comments on everything from Star Trek (“the re-booted Trek franchise should live long and prosper at the multiplex”) to Transformers (“whatever speck of joy the first film contained will have been thoroughly stamped out”).

This week, we’re following Hollywood’s lead, and presenting a sequel, getting you caught up on what’s hitting the Hollywood 20 every week till fall comes. The lineup features heavyweights like Quentin Tarantino and Brad Pitt, Judd Apatow and Adam Sandler. Can they improve on what we’ve already seen this summer? We’ll see…

JULY 10
Box Office Gold: Brüno
Worth seeing? For his last big-screen outing, 2006’s Borat, British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen laid waste to George W. Bush’s America — hilariously ruining rodeos, business conferences and a Pam Anderson book signing in the process. Cohen has gone back to the Ali G Show wellspring from which Borat emerged to find his next character, flaming gay Austrian fashionista Brüno. Early buzz has Cohen replicating his Borat schtick, sending Brüno to interact with unsuspecting bystanders who aren’t in on the joke. This time around, that means talking Sex and the City and tent-snuggling with homophobic rednecks, crashing the catwalk at actual runway shows and even dropping trou in front of Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul. If it’s all half as funny as Borat, the producers will laugh all the way to the bank.

Counter-programming: Mountains of man-ass and potty jokes a turn off? Instead, see I Love You, Beth Cooper. The latest from director Chris Columbus (the first few Harry Potter flicks), Cooper stars Paul Rust as a nerdy kid who declares his love for the hottest girl in school (Hayden Panettiere) during his valedictory speech. The speech works, and hottie Beth soon decides to show her dorky suitor the night of his life. Ah, fantasy.

JULY 15

Box Office Gold: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Worth seeing? It doesn’t matter. At this point you’ve spent so much time reading the books and seeing the other movies that not catching Half-Blood Prince is akin to letting yourself down. This entry into the Potter series (the sixth of seven) was originally slated for a November 2008 release by Warner Bros., but after the studio hit the jackpot with The Dark Knight, the bean-counters decided to push the lucrative boy wizard onto 2009’s balance sheet. Fans of the series can expect a mostly faithful adaptation of J.K. Rowling’s book, though they apparently mucked with the ending a bit. The Internet is abuzz with reports that about 25 minutes of the film will be in 3D IMAX, though at press time that was unconfirmed. No matter. They could have shot Half-Blood Prince in 1D and it would still be the favorite to claim the summer box-office crown.

Counter-programming: The wizard Harry is so powerful that no other film dare challenge him.

JULY 24
Box Office Gold: The Ugly Truth
Read More “The 2009 summer movie preview: Part deux!” »

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COLEMAN’S TAVERN
The basics: 5305 Fruitville Road, Sarasota, 379-2703 or colemanstavern.com [map it]
Signature drink(s): Jäger bomb
Most friendliest bartender(s): Shannon

Over two Jäger shots, Coleman’s owner Mike told me exactly why his bar is packed every night of the week with neighborhood drinkers, celebrating softball teams and off-duty restaurant and bar staffers: “We’re fucking great people.” And the patrons are just as awesome: “[the] best regulars that I’ve ever seen in my life.” Coleman’s has earned its rep in less than three years, after Mike and others renovated a total dive named the Oasis. Nowadays, framed Successories-style photos of major-league ballparks line the walls, and a popcorn machine provides gratis sustenance to those craving something salty to go with their brews. In one corner, a cage provides a classy platform for the ladies to dance up on when things pop off and get real crazy, like on the pub’s patented FUBAR Fridays. Perhaps one reason why regulars keep packing the place?

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— The Sarasota Herald-Tribune on why the U.S. Senate might just be able to pass a Gulf of Mexico offshore drilling bill this time around.

— Pot Luck runs down every local restaurant that’s using Twitter. We don’t serve food, but we’re on Twittter, too! Join us at twitter.com/CLSarasota.

— [We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.] Oh. My. God. It is finally here. We have been tracking the Observer’s ongoing “Spirit of America” photo contest for weeks now, and the publication is finally announcing a winner. I am in heeeeeeaven!

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The Bloody Mary is one of the few acceptable — or even desirable — morning cocktails, perfect as a hair-of-the-dog hangover tonic, or as a way to get the day started off right. Better yet, done right this pungent example of savory mixology is almost a meal in a glass, loaded with the vital nutrients, roughage and vodka that are essential parts of a balanced breakfast.

Problem is, very few people have spent the time to perfect nature’s perfect breakfast cocktail. It’s a complicated endeavor that is usually beyond the amateur mixologist, with a list of ingredients longer than most morning recipes. And don’t even think of reaching for store-bought mixers — you might as well throw some vodka in a can of Campbell’s condensed tomato soup and call it a day.

With a little preparation, some experimentation, and a fair amount of gratifying taste testing, however, even Bloody Mary newbies can learn to make a mean mix. Here are a few tips: Read More “Tips for the quintessential Bloody Mary” »

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Cliff Roles Interviews Lisa E. Scott

From our boy Cliff Roles:

“It’s All About Him” is an informative, quick-read that helps women understand what makes these men tick! Given the right tools, women will be better equipped to avoid such involvements in the first place. Visit Lisa’s inspiring message-board on her website at www.lisaescott.com that acts as a support group for women trying to break free from a narcissistic relationship, and check out details of her blog talk radio show at: www.blogtalkradio.com/allabouthim.

A Master’s Degree in Human Resources from Loyola University and working full-time in the role of human resources’ professional gives Lisa an opportunity to observe first-hand human behavior, but it is her own personal experience in falling for two pathological narcissists that gives her credibility as evidenced in her book.

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